Being & Loving by Horner

I received a book I ordered yesterday in the mail which I paid about $60.00 for. Expecting it to be like a textbook material kinda book, I was surprised when the parcel came in and it was only just under 1cm thick. Nonetheless, I have been waiting for this particular book eargerly and stayed up till 4.15am last night reading this book.

So, yes, the title is Being & Loving by Althea J Horner. Anyway, the author basically said that often people do one of these 3 things:

1. They find themselves loving and working hard at keeping their relationships that they lose their own identity in the whole process.

2. They find themselves at risk of losing their own identity when trying to love others that they eventually resent the partner for being over-controlling (eventhough that's only their perception) and they find themselves trapped.

3. They find themselves in a state of ambivalent that they cannot go either way - that is, to have their own identity or to love freely that they find themselves utterly disappointed with the partner and trapped in their own ambivalence.

All three states are no good. (Horner, page 3)

Horner said the reason for such inner turmoil and conflicts are due to the first three years of a child's development and this point was substantiated by the attachment, separation and individuation theory of development of which she quoted a few. In the first 5-6months, the baby has to learn attachment to a primary giver to learn basic trust. Then from 6-16months, they learn separation and individuation. If all this process and stages takes place successfully, the child will have intrinsic basic trust in loving people and also a strong sense of self.

Without that taking place, the child will find themselves in one of the above situation when they become an adult.

So what do you think about that?

I've yet to finish the book and might do another follow-up post on it but I'll stop here since I think this is enough for a start.

Hong Kong Disneyland

A few months ago, my high tech friend Jaywalk told me I could do a video blog by uploading my video clips on this site. So I thought I give it a try.

Here's a video of the fireworks at the Hong Kong Disneyland. If I'm not wrong, they do this every night as their closing parade. I thought it was pretty impressive. Not as impressive as the Sydney New Year's Eve Fireworks but pretty good for something that's done on a daily basis.

View video here

I heard a lot of ill report of the Hong Kong Disneyland but mostly 3rd hand stories. One was that many of the people that go to Hong Kong Disneyland are from China and the Chinese do not know how to give each other personal space in queues (in general, that is) so that makes the whole experience very unpleasant especially when the queues are terribly long. The other was the place is not very hygienic because they (the Chinese) spit a lot. There was also complaints that it was too small and therefore not worth going.

Well, I actually had quite a good time there and didn't experience any of the problems others had encountered. The queues weren't too long - with the exception of checking in at the Hollywood hotel. I had to queue for almost 45 minutes just to get checked in. Maybe it wasn't quite peak period yet when we went. I found on the contrary, the place very clean. Almost like a cleaner was trailing behind us to pick after us everywhere we went.

The only other complaint I have is again with the hotel. On the website, it was stated that the rate of the hotel included all mini-bar, but when we got there, it was an EMPTY fridge.

The queing problem I did encounter, but not at Disney. It was at the airport. We went to the airport well before the counters were opened for checking in. So we were the first in the queue. We left a 1m space between the counter and us for thoroughfare. 1 minute before the counters were opened, a busload of Chinese tourists came along and helped themselves to the space in front of us. I was flabbergasted! Anyway, I was thankful it didn't happen again. The ugly side of me would have probably surfaced.

I also uploaded some pictures but while uploading I decided to surf the net as well and for some reason lost the page altogether so maybe another time....

Second Round of World Cup

As we woke ourselves up at what I call an unearthly hour (4.30am) and sat through a gruelling match against Croatia, I questioned why I put myself through all that. Why do we purposely subject ourselves to pain and agony just to feel the exhilaration at winning a game? The game was crucial for the World Cup yes, but it is definitely NOT crucial to life.

So forgive me Socceroos and all Socceroos' fans, but I half hoped that we will lose so that all this late nights and early morning wakings would end now and life will revert to some sort of normality for us. Now we have to go through another round of it all. I think my heart (and my body) is not that strong to sit through the second round.

Then again, this is one aspect of living life to the fullest. Perhaps this is what it means to stop and smell the roses and to seize the day?

Yum Cha Tea Ritual

Since coming back from our holidays I've been find it hard to find time to blog. Why so busy? I notice something is different. Can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe my husband and I have been spending more time together since we got back because that's what we did for 3weeks. We seem to have bonded a little closer in the 3 weeks, and the holiday's got us into a routine of spending quality time together as we found a new interest in tea ritual. What's that? Here's a picture of our tea set bought from Hong Kong and my current favourite tea - Blossom Jasmine (picture above).

The Blossom Jasmine (or the Snowball Jasmine) is Oolong tea intricately woven into a ball with Jasmine and Crysanthemum in the centre. The ball then opens up into a flower in the teapot as seen above. Not only is it pretty, but it is also a very nice sweet smelling tea. Definitely by far, my favourite tea.

Below is the tea set we bought from Lama Island in Hong Kong from Chin Yip Tea Shop. A shop that's just newly opened and owned by 2 young brothers. We just wanted to experience 'Yum Cha' when we went in and the whole experience was so pleasant we bought a set home. Lama Island is a quaint little island about half an hour from Central HK by Ferry and there are no cars in Lama Island. One third of the population of about 5000 are expatriats so in a middle of a very chinese row of shops along the jetti, you get a very English pub. There is also a great variety of restaurants from Seafood to Thai and Indian food in that same row.


We've been doing a bit of Yum Cha since we got home. That means less time for blogging since work and other household administrative stuff still have to be done. I wish there were more time in a day, and I've got more energy to last longer than 18 hours a day. Imagine if we don't have to sleep, wouldn't we get a lot more time at hand?

There is a lot I'd like to write about but I don't have the time and energy lately to enter into any deep and meaningful at length. So till the next hopefully interesting post!

Goose Bumps

I can't believe it, I'm actually getting goose bumps as I listen to the Aussie National Athem being sung as the game begins against Brazil! I'm actually feeling excited to watch this game.

All the best Socceroos!!!

Australians, Men and Sports

Well, it's Soccer Mania here in Australia. Usually it's Cricket, Rugby Union, Rugby League, Aussie Rules, Tennis, Swimming, the Commonwealth Games, Tour de France and the Olympics that Australians are crazy about. Soccer isn't the favourite sport in Australia until this year when we got in the Finals after 32 years. For that reason, my husband says, it's bigger than the Olympics!

For tonight's game against Brazil at 1.30am our opposition leader even went as far as saying employers should allow their employees a late morning to work. So what is it with Sports and Australians, and Men I wonder? If my husband wasn't so into sports, I wouldn't be writing this post today. In fact, I probably wouldn't be following the Soccer World Cup, Cricket or any sports for that matter except for Tennis which I enjoy playing.

Have you also noticed how in social settings, the men and women instantly break up into 2 separate groups - the men's group and the women's group? It's such a classic scenario here in Australia that I used to think the Australian men have serious social problems. Now I think it's
a universal problem!!! Is that true?

Well, now that I'm on the topic of men, may I also air my thoughts on how men are not generally good listeners and hate confrontations. Maybe that's got some correlation with the love for sports... any comments?

I'm Back!

Well, hubs, bubs and I had been on our 3 weeks holiday to Singapore and Hong Kong and got back last week but mentally, I have just returned to blogosphere after having to plunge myself into a backlog of work, cleaning and getting connected again with my network of friends here.

In between all that last week, there was also the excitement of Australia beating Japan 3-1 (should have been 3-0 if the fault was picked up by the referee!!!) in the World Cup Soccer in Germany. Normally, I'm not into sports but Australia hasn't made it to the finals in the Soccer World Cup since 32 years ago so it's a big thing. More a nationalistic thing than the love of the sport, really. The 3 goals that Australia managed to get in the last 7 minutes of the game was just grinding but brilliant to watch. What a sentiment it created for the whole week and we're still talking about it!

Then my son went to childcare for just one day this week for the first time so that was another big emotional event. I was really anxious the night before and the whole day while he was in childcare. I even stayed and watch him from a "hidden" room for about an hour before I finally left him with the capable carers. Ended up, he was just fine after the first hour. Ate all his lunch, didn't nap, socialised well, played well, gave the carers lots of smiles and laughs, and was following instructions when I arrived to pick him up! He went so well, I decided to put him in childcare for two days a week starting next week! I'm so proud of him!

I haven't forgotten the holidays. We had so much fun. It really brought out the good in all of us but it was also very tiring thus the need to sleep a few days after we returned! We ate and walked heaps but we must have eaten more than we walked because I still gained a few kilos! I will have to have a post or two on the holidays.

Well, that's all for now. I thought I start with something small to get the momentum back!