What's your story?

I learnt that everyone of us has an important story to tell. Not just the best sellers, but normal people like you and me. That story makes us who we are and why we think and react the way we do. There's a therapy called Narrative Therapy where one's history is told or written, and from there a consciousness of what was lacking in the person's history is inventoried. The author then re-authors his life as he faces the future with the consciousness he now has of his past.

If you were to re-write your history, what would you have changed? How would you have liked to have related with the significant people in your life? How would you have handled the different difficult issues and people in your life? What would you have to unload moving forward? Tough questions, that require tough answers.

On the other note, when you meet people, remember that they have a story themselves. There's no right or wrong stories, just stories. Some sad stories, some happy stories, some uplifting stories, some simple day-to-day stories but all of them make them who they are today. Some are more open to telling their stories because they have come to terms with them and know that's not the end of their story yet. But there are some who prefer to hide them because they have problems coming to terms with their story and cannot move forward.

Finally, whether the things that happened to us are a blessing or a curse (for a beautiful story by Max Lucardo, read here) we do not know because our story has not yet ended and we may never know until we see God face to face. We can but make the best of what we know and can change and leave the rest to him, who is the author and finisher of our faith.

Parenting Joy

I was on my way to the post office and the supermarket for a few things just before lunch today with Ky in his usual car seat going about his usual self, chattering away in gibberish. As I turned into the town carpark, he started throwing what I thought was a tantrum for no rhyme or reason.

I noticed that he's been doing the same thing at the same turn for the past couple of days. I didn't think much of it the first few times it had happened but by today, I was getting a bit puzzled. So I studied him to try and see what he was trying to convey and he seemed to be pointing at the other direction as though to say that I shouldn't have made the turn into the carpark. So I went out of the carpark and went round the same way again. Instead of turning into the carpark this time, I went ahead. Within a few seconds his face lit up and there was a gleeful laughter. I couldn't believe the difference in reaction. As I reached the end of the street and turned right where the pool is, he started pointing to the pool in delight saying, "pool! pool!".

I was dumb founded. My 17 months old baby actually knows the way to the pool! He's been pretty good to ask for things by pointing to me up to this stage. I just didn't expect him to know road directions at this age.

When I finished my errands, I put him back in the carseat (we parked on the pool street instead of the carpark) to come home for his lunch and afternoon nap. He protested again looking earnestly at the pool and calling out, "water! water! pool!". So I made a promise that we will return later after his afternoon nap for a swim. I kept to my promise and he's a happy chappy.

I am glad I took the time to listen to what he's saying. I was surprised by what he could communicate to me and how much he knew. So he continues to surprise me with what he can do each day. The excitement of being a parent!

Sleep Schools

As to my hopes of getting my boy to sleep through the night... I did some research into control crying and whether I should start trying that out or any other variations of that method (comfort crying etc) for that matter. I stumbled on an article called Commentary: sleep in German infants--the "cult" of independence by Stephan R. Valentin . Pediatrics. Jan 2005 v115 i1 p269(3). It basically says that the control crying or the advocacy of independence in babies or early childhood is a German and Northern Europe thing (and eventually the Western culture took it on as well) where parents fear that the child will grow up not having the skills to be independent to make it in life. In Asian countries like Japan, it's found that the focus is to get the child to be open to people and to be community oriented. So control crying is not even considered.

Well, I can now be at peace with myself when someone asks, "Have you not done control crying?". I don't need to. I don't need to teach my son how to leap before he can walk. All in good time. He will be independent when he's secure and that's what he needs right now-security. With that type of independence (the one that is the result of attachment formed at early childhood), he won't have a problem with interdependency that is an essential ingredient for healthy relationships.

I'm sure control crying is good for mothers who have no choice but to go back to work full-time and to make sure they have a good night sleep because they have to be alert at work the next day. But I can just shuffle my days to suit myself if I've had a bad night, so why bother about control crying or confort crying or whatever?

Sometimes too many advices are given but not knowing the background of those advices may sometimes be bad advice.

Extended Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding a baby is now a pretty acceptable thing to do. However, breastfeeding a toddler is still taking its time to be trendy. I'm still breastfeeding my 17 month old toddler and on many occassions thougth of weaning him only because it's the acceptable thing to do. I get asked the question of when I'm going to wean him quite a bit. I've only known of 2 other mums who had breastfed their toddlers till 4 years of age. If I'm not wrong, the jewish in the old testament practiced extended breasteeding - 3 years old is the age of weaning - Samuel in the Old Testament was weaned and given to Eli at age 3.

My only problem with extended breastfeeding is the social stigma and the possibility that I mightn't get my beauty sleep back earlier. Abnormal medical conditions not considered, neither of them are for any wholesome benefits. In fact, I found there are more benefits to continue to breastfeed a toddler than not - see http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/breastfeeding/a/bf_toddler.htm . There's the better health aspect, the attachment/security and bonding aspect (the more secure your child feels, the more confident he/she will be as an adult) and the cost aspect (no need to buy milk and bottles).

So I've decided I will continue to breastfeed my boy till he's ready to give it up. I'll just have to start training him that it'll have to be done in private. At the moment, he's still being fed on demand, so that means, anywhere and anytime (yes, he asks for it when I'm queuing up at the checkout if he's upset- lol). I guess that'll have to stop by the time we go on our holidays in May!

Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child?

Well, I thought I'd said my peace yesterday on this topic but it seems not. I had a 14 year old with me today to help me babysit my little one. She loves kids so I've asked her to come play with Ky while I get some work done.

We were cleaning up after lunch where Ky had thrown his food on the floor as usual. The whole food throwing and playing thing is getting better but still food ends up on the floor towards the end of the meal. Earlier, she had seen me telling Ky sternly how I was not happy with him throwing his food on the floor and continuing on with whatever I was doing. During our washing up, she asked, "do you give Ky a smack on the hand at all just to let him know that it's wrong to throw food on the floor?" I said no and explained that I don't think it would make any difference. He's got the point that I wasn't happy. He's not dumb.

She's a really good girl - well mannered, polite and confident. She is the youngest of 4 and following her older siblings do what they do had resulted in her maturing quicker for her age. She cleans and organizes Ky's toys for me when she's here. She's like her mum who keeps her home very neat and tidy. Her parents are school teachers and advocates smacking for discipline. So, why would I not smack my child if this near perfect child is the outcome of being disciplined by the rod?

Well, although she and her eldest brother are the perfect children every household would want in their family, her other 2 siblings are not. The thing is, it's not the rod that is why she has turned out the way she has, it's her personality. Both her and her eldest brother have the same endearing personality that no. 2 and 3 do not and therefore faced the rod a lot more. They have no respect for their parents, rebel and do not have close, open relationships with either of their parents. In fact, no.2 & 3 are oten talked about by their parents as difficult children. So, has the rod helped? I don't think so. I think it's caused more of a wedge than anything.

There are many ways of tackling a problem situation or a problem child. There's distraction for the younger child. Witholding or confiscating their favourite toy, sending the child to a naughty corner or room, tackling the root problem of their bad behaviour are other alternatives rather than resorting to the rod at first instance.

At the end of the day, what parents choose to do is their own business. I don't profess to know what really definitely works and what really doesn't so I don't really want to interfere. Why can't parents just say they don't know rather than try and have one set answer for all parenting solutions? Like my lecturer, Dr Graham Barker, used to say, if you only have a hammer in your hand, everything will start to look like a nail. But if you have more tools in your hands, you can use the appropriate tools for each problem. Knowledge equate to tools.

Parenting

I realise that parenting styles differ from family to family. Each family does things differently depending on how they were raised themselves and the culture and personality of each parent. What works for one family might not work for another.

Yet, there are so many books on what we should do. I remember when I was bemoaning my lack of sleep when Ky was waking up every 2 hours a friend recommended me a book. It was all about setting a routine for the child, what to do with a baby who doesn't sleep through the night, methods of play, sleep, feed processes to name a few. I didn't read the whole book. In fact, to be truthful, I read the summary at the back page, the blurb about the author and a page of two of the book and left it.

Almost 17 months later, I am still plagued with lack of sleep. He's improved a bit over the 17 months but he goes through patches where he sleeps better than some months. The last few weeks has been tough. He's been waking up every 2-3 hours for a feed! So, back to the literature I went, but this time, I did my own research into studies done rather than take an author's advice.

So I researched about 1) when to wean because I'm beginning to get asked how long I was going to breastfeed for. 2) About sleeping patterns of toddlers because I'm wondering if the breastfeeding does affect his sleep pattern. 3) Developmental theories (Erik Erikson, Jean Piaget, Vygotsky) because my dear boy is still going through the separation anxiety eventhough I thought this should have eased a bit after his first year. 4) Attachment theory (Bowlby's Attachment Theory) - to understand the whole need for emotional security, perceived competence and perceived autonomy in a child's development. 5) About parenting styles and what to avoid because I keep getting advised that one should not "spare the rod and spoil the child". No. 3, 4 and 5 are about parenting sytles.

I have formed my own views about my own dilemma and will share them with you. Perhaps I'll start with no.5 because it's an advice I get from well-meaning christians more than any other. I beg to differ. I don't know what refute to give except that the bible also has a lot of other sayings that may not be taken literally due to differences in time and culture. Symbolisms are often used-in this case, rod=discipline. I agree with discipline, but I disagree with the rod bit taken literally. I think there are many ways of punishment and it is not necessary to use the rod. A frustrated or well-meaning parent or carer resorts to a rod because it's the quickest method that inflicts fear on the child so as to gain power and obedience.

I admit, I smack my son's hands when he defiantly throws his food on the floor but more often than not, out of frustration. Apparently, they all do it because it's a developmental thing. Eventually, they just get over it and stop doing it. So, while I should tell him how I feel about him throwing food on the floor, smacking him will not do more than if I had shown my disapproval through words and tone of voice. In fact, the more I smack, the more he does it because he's learning that he gets a reaction from me. Worse than that, I would hate to send the message that the use of physical power is how one can gain control.

What about a light smack you may ask? My question is, what's the point of it? Like Stephen Covey says, begin with the end in mind. If it is to instill discipline, then there are better and more effective methods. They may be more time consuming to enforce, but let's not abuse the bible verse to give permission to a method that is more a choice of convenience to the parent/carer than a choice based on what's better for the child.

Next... my stand on extended breastfeeding and sleeping methods.

The Seasons of Life

Nothing goes to waste with God. Just like there are 4 seasons, Autumn, Winter, Spring and Summer in a year, so also things happen in seasons in our lives.

Autumn is where we make an inventory of ourselves and shed the old and unwanted things in our lives.

Winter is where nothing much seems to be happening on the outside but in fact, lots is happening on the inside - strengthening, consolidating of growth and deepening. There is a quiet sense of hope.

Spring is where we see new shoots grow, new things begin to happen and sprout. The signs of life is manifested in the activities and colours in our days. Hope is actualised.

Summer is where things are in full bloom and working at its best capacity. There is a sense of fulfilment and achievement. We reap what we have been sowing the last 3 seasons.

Then the cycle repeats itself, adding richness and depth to our lives with each cycle.

We sow the seeds in our lives by putting in effort towards a future goal. We water them and protect them from dying but it's God grace that ultimately gives the increase because He is ultimately in control of all things. It's the principle of sowing and reaping.

Being the Best You

Together with my pastor's wife, I'm in the process of co-ordinating a program to be run as part of the first year's high school curriculum. It is called the SHINE program and is pioneered by Hillsong Emerge. It is about helping girls between the age of 12-14 to value themselves, to find the strength within themselves, and to live a life of purpose in the bigger scheme of things. It's about caring for their body (value), mind (strength) and soul (purpose).

It has been a passion of mine to free people to be who the Creator (aka God, Yahweh) had meant for us to be. It's about discovering our innate talents that had been bestowed upon each individual and using those talents to the fullest. It's about being freed of the distractions in this world that is pulling us away from our purpose. Being a woman, it is only natural for me to help other women and future women in this area.

Co-ordinating this program involves the initial selling of the program to the local high school's principal, then getting sponsorships from local businesses to help fund the program, and then the actual running of the program in the schools for a period of 8 weeks where girls get to experience hands-on haircare, nailcare, skincare & make-up, respect & etiquette, hear talks on nutrition, fitness and deportment as ways of valuing themselves and walking tall in their purpose. Unlike other personal hygiene talks or girlie commercial magazines, the emphasis on truths about why we do vain things and why we should take care of ourselves are re-instated throughout the whole course.

Personally, it's going to be so challenging and exciting. I personally cannot wait to actually see this program up and running, and to face the exciting challenges along the way.

I hope that whoever reads this blog will also go away with the truth that you have a purpose in God and to challenge you to find that purpose. There's nothing more exciting than being the best You that you can be!

Fresh Water River Adventure

Today, we went to a fresh water river and paid $15 for the permit. It had been pouring the whole week, today inclusive but that didn't deter our other outing mates, so off we went armed with their tarpolene as our only shelter from the terrential rain.

Most of the land at the Top End belongs to the aboriginal thus the need for a permit. In fact, most of the town land is leased from the aboriginal so development is limited. Due to this reason, there's an abundance of undeveloped natural beauties untainted by commercialism. The place is looking particularly green because of all the rain we've been getting shown in the light green growth in the picture above. The normally dusty road is settled and muddy instead. It took us an hour and a quarter to get to the spot.

The first thing the guys did was to secure the tarpolene to the car and the trees around us. Just as well because it poured again within 10mins of us arriving.

Ky checked out the termite nest with the other guys. The termite nests here are huge and that's considered smallish.

The guys started up a bonfire using the branches around to cook our lunch. The usual onion, sausages, eggs and steak with bread rolls and salads. I forgot to take a picture of the food - will remember next time.

This is after the rain. Ky just loves water and he can spend hours just playing with puddles. Thank goodness he wasn't also sucking up the water from the puddles today, so I was quite glad to let him be. I wasn't too worried about him getting dirty because we were by the river and it wasn't going to be long before he'll get a swim and a wash...

I love waterfalls. They remind me of my childhood family outings to Malaysia's waterfalls.

Well, that's our day adventure at the river today. It's always so nice to get away. I just wish I am a better packer for occassions like these because I tend to get there and forget half the things we need. Thank goodness we always go in a group! I don't think I would have survived these outback adventures if it wasn't for our outing mates! Must make myself a checklist.

Simplicity and Strength

The one thing I really like about being in this small town is the simplicity of life. Things don't get very complicated here and there aren't a lot of choices so decisions are straightforward. Like we don't have to think about where to eat out - there are only 2 cafes (one is airconditioned and the other is not), 3 decent restaurants and 4 takeaway joints we can go. Only one butcher, one newsagency and two supermarkets (one is a lot more expensive than the other so that leaves one supermarket to go usually!).

So I find it a lot better and easier to have a set routine everyday of the week. There's a rhythm to my days. I learn to be more creative - in my cooking and in my activities with Ky. I also learn to relate better with people and to build relationships with people without having to go out. Like we will be content visiting each other for coffees and snacks while the kids play in the pool or their slides in the backyard. My husband and I spend a lot more time talking because there's no movies (that's not true, we have video shops and a school hall type theatre) to go to. We don't feel like we're missing out on things because there's nothing much to miss out on here.

We don't have in-laws to help out. However that also means that we don't have the intrusion of in-laws in the way we run our household and inevitably having a significant influence on our child's upbringing. We have to be a self-reliant family unit and to learn to accept support from as well as give support to friends and neighbours. In many ways we miss the support that we could have with family closed-by, but the other side of the coin is that we learn the tools to thrive and succeed without those family supports.

So hopefully we will have under our belt an attitude of simplicity and strength to take with us when we leave go back to huge, busy, bustling Sydney. We would have worked out our strengths and weaknesses as a young family and be better armed. We would have some sort of healthy family structure and firm foundations in place that when distractions come we will be able to draw weapons from the simply way of life to stand strong as a family.

Afterall, how much do we really need in life? Not that we isolate ourselves and be a hermit but there are so much in life that we can do without and still have our happiness intact. It's a matter of perception and attitude.

Learning to Say No

I read that the 2 year-olds favourite words are 'No' and 'Mine' because that's the age where they are differentiating themselves from the world and from their primary carers to form their own identity. The more they are allowed to say "No', the healthier they will be as adults because they would have formed a healthy sense of self. This so-called "terrible two's" is therefore a necessary evil to becoming a whole and healthy individual.

Have we ever found it difficult to say 'No' to people around us? I was talking to a friend last week who said that she was asked to do something and she said to me, "I realised that I wouldn't have been able to say 'No' even if I couldn't". On a worse note, if someone hurt us, are we able to tell them that they have hurt us and to back off?

Theoretically that means we probably haven't developed a good sense of self so we lack self-respect and we let others trod on us. Sometimes we even justify it by thinking to ourselves that we're being a matyr. Trodden on and disrespected yes, matyrdom no. One who willingly submits oneself for a greater cause - that's matrydom or meekness. One who doesn't have the guts to inforce boundaries and allows things to happen to them because they can't say 'No' - that's no self-respect due to lack of self-esteem.

Which one are you? I admit, I was the latter but now, thank God, majority of the time, I can say 'No' without feeling guilty. If I want to commit an act of kindness or meekness, I am fully aware that I'm loosening my boundaries for a purpose and will adjust my boundaries appropriately. It takes self-awareness and us being truthful to ourselves.

God of Big and Small Things

I know God comes up a bit in my posts and it's OK if you're a non-believer who finds this worldview irrelevant. The thing is, God is not irrelevant.

Our 4WD wouldn't start on Wednesday night. The way things are in this town, everything is scarce, except for the minerals they are mining up here! So, from getting the car to be towed to the workshop to getting the starter motor replaced was by no means a quick and easy job.

It took us until Friday before we finally found someone to come look at the car, only to be told they are fully booked till April and they don't expect it to be ready at the earliest next Wednesday. Anyway, after giving up on finding an alternative, I gave in and accepted that I won't have a car for almost a week. I was Ok with walking but that means I have to be very organised about my comings and goings. Forgetting something means I would have to allow another 40mins of walking to and fro town. However, it was going to be better for me to give in to the situation then fight it. So, I said to God, "it's in your hands" and mentally prepared myself. I felt at peace about the whole thing knowing that God is in control of the bigger picture whatever the outcome, and I will be OK.

Unexpectedly the next morning, we got a call that our car was ready to be picked up! Now, to me, that's my God looking after me. Some may wish to view this as nothing but good luck. Well, that's a bit too airy fairy for me. What constitutes good luck? Some spiritual force? Some karma? Why is it so hard for us to accept that the God of big things, one who created this universe, is also God of the small things in our lives? This is the same God, Jesus Christ, who died for us because He loved us so. Yet, this is the biggest stumbling block to many of us receiving an inner peace and joy - a stress free life.

Love Thyself Before You Love Your Neighbour

Do you find it hard to love yourself? If you are a Christian, do you find it hard to love yourself first before the people you are ministering to? Do you feel guilty if you do something for yourself? We are supposed to love our neighbour as we love OURSELVES. The truth is, we cannot really love others if we cannot love ourselves first.

Love requires a person to give fully of himself. If a person does not know their true self, there's nothing to give. Or if one has only part knowledge of oneself, then one can only give part of oneself. To love fully is to give fully, sacrificial love means to lay it all down. If you don't love yourself, how can you lay it all down? If you do not know who you are, how can you claim to give it away?

So, does that then equate to: if you've don't know who you are and you don't love yourself, then what you're giving away is not the real thing? Authenticity. The real thing. Do we give of ourselves out of gaining a benefit so that we feel better about ourselves? Ie. We get busy with ministry and be a philanthropist because it makes us feel better and take the guilt away? We please others because it boosts our self-image and and ease our guilt. We strive to be better because we are not happy in who we are. We please because we want people to like us and accept us. Not because we genuinely just want to bless the person, with no self-gain whatsoever.

That's tricky, isn't it? It's not hard to do it all for the wrong reasons. No one is perfect, so count me in the hypocrisy and self-gain bandwagon. I am working on it. The truth is, no amount of good works will justify us a place in heaven. No amount of striving and slogging in the ministry will make us a better Christian than the Christian who does nothing. We do acts of kindness because we love. We love because God first loved us. We give of ourselves freely because we are free and secure in that unconditional love of God to be who we really are. If we love others, we will also allow them to be who God has made them to be rather than what you'd like them to be.

May we learn to truly love one another, as we learn to truly love ourselves.

International Women's Day

Today is International Women's Day. I find that particularly comforting to know that women are esteemed. The conflicts that we face as women are incredible and the strength that we show is even more so. What with having to be a nurturer as well as pull our weight with the family finances these days, it's not an easy task balancing the two.

It's easy to concentrate on being a complete nurturer or a complete breadwinner as one's focus would be on the one thing only. But in many cases, women these days have to be both and we have to work out that balance ourselves too. It's not something that our mothers would have to contend with (in most cases again) and so role models in that arena are lacking. Personally, as a stay-home mum who works part-time from home, I find the task of balancing very challenging. Like the lady who was interviewed on Today this morning, I agree that we can't have it all and some things have to give. And, what would that be if we have to choose?

To me, it's postponing the things I would like to achieve as an individual. And, maybe because of the choices I have to make now, my choices ahead of me will be different too and I will have to come to terms with the fact that I might never see some of my dreams come true. We do live in a world with limited resources and we do have to choose and we can't have it all.

The other thing I really like to appreciate about women today is how far we have come along in having a voice, in standing up for ourselves, and in respecting ourselves for who we are. We are not the weaker half, we are the other half, which completes society today. Regardless of our role, whether as a stay home mum or the breadwinner of the family, the two are of equal weight and equal importance. An hour of hosuework at home is equivalent to an hour of meeting with the board of directors of a company. We do not do less, and we do not expect to be treated like our efforts are of a lesser value, time wise. Our input into society today and for the future should be of equal weight. Society has some improvement to do when it comes to that.

Going forward, I believe we have a lot more to work on having the nurturing role shared more equally between the two sexes. Being a nurturer is a 24x7 job, and anything pass the 9-5pm hours should be shared equally, regardless of our sex and whether or not we are a fullt-time contributor to the family finances.

Society is evolving all the time and we have to learn to adapt to change as the theory of the survival of the fittest goes. The roles of women are changing too and I believe the rate depends on how much we women will stand up for ourselves and have a voice for what is appropriate.

To all the women in this world, Happy Women's Day!

God The Puzzle Fixer

I am amazed at how God pieces fragments of our lives together. How nothing goes to waste and everything has a place in the end. I only see some of that now and am amazed. I can't wait to see the end result of that picture!

I am reminded today of that as I went along my merry way performing what I thought was a tedious task of having to relodge Kyzac's passport application for the 3rd time. Our faces were too big the first time, I had to fill-up a new form for myself the second time, and then now, the passport office has come back to say Kyzac's form is out of date and we need to lodge a new application for him!

Anyway, I dropped in to see my pastor's wife to see if she would sign as guarantor for Kyzac's application since my neighbour is at work. We talked about other things and all of a sudden, it became a divine appointment. It was a very fruitful and encouraging visit.

3 years ago, I did some changes to my life which were pretty abnormal. I quit my secure full-time accounting job to be retrained as a Counsellor. I also did a diploma in Nail Technology (Essentially a Nail Artist course). I just did it because it was in my heart to do it for over a year and those desires just wouldn't go away. What seemed to be a strange thing to do suddenly seemed to all come together as we chatted.

My pastor's wife shared about how suddenly excited she is about a project we had previously talked about because of something she had read the last three days. Although we had previously discussed it, I wasn't sure if it was going to take off. Now, God has got her all excited to go full trottle with it and I feel like I've been placed here for such a time as this. It is amazing because 3 years ago, as I started my Counselling and my Nail Technology courses, not knowing where it was going to lead, I got a word from a lady that said I would be like Esther in the bible who was "born for such a time as this". I've been wondering for 3 years, what exactly that is. Suddenly, pieces of that puzzle are falling into place and I see a little more of that picture that God is fixing. Prophecies I've been given over the years are now beginning to make some sense.

I can't help but get excited each time I think about the completed puzzle! Sometimes life seems like it's going nowhere or we wonder why we're doing what we're doing. Just keep doing what God has asked you to do last and trust because He is not a man that He should lie, but what He said He definitely will bring to past.

I hope this has encouraged you as much as it has encouraged me!

Unloading

Kyzac is asleep and I'm hoping I'd have some time to do some reflecting today. I've left it for a while and I'm beginning to feel it - insecurities and a general unsettledness is starting to weigh me down. It's time to stop, ponder, go through my baggage and do some off-loading. Jesus said, "Come to me all you who labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28-29).

Why is my load heavy? Have I been doing things in my own strength? I beat myself up for things I have no control of with work related issues and I try and control the what-if's in my life. I wonder if I should be less this and more that. I wonder if I've made the right decisions. I've been doing a lot of wondering lately. I'm tired now. I think I'll just stop wondering and keep going with what I was doing before I started wondering and walk by faith, not by sight.

The cares of this world is so distracting and easily taken on. I didn't even know it's crept in until now. It's easy to fall into the trap of comparing myself to other people and chasing other people's dreams. Thank God I'm not meant to be like anyone else. I'm meant to be ME, what a relief! I have a purpose to fulfil and that is to be me!

Dilemma of a work-from-home mum

Working from home is not as easy as it sounds. Any great tip from a successful home-based business person juggling part-time work, full-time mum and marriage?

I'm thinking I'm going to have to structure my week nights (after Kyzac goes to sleep) a lot more than I have. For example:

Mon nights - Games night with Hubs
Tues nights - Work night
Wed nights - Work night
Thurs nights - Marriage night
Fri nights - Social night
Sat nights - Social night
Sun nights - My night

Will that help me balance my life more? Any better ideas, anyone?