Can Social Democracy Stand The Test of Time?

Since last Monday, my broadband has been down following cyclone Monica. The router between us and Darwin is apparently broken down and will take more than a week to fix. So I signed up for dial-up as my back-up only to find the phone lines were working intermittently only.

It has been very frustrating because I have been in a middle of a very interesting discussion at a fellow good friend and blogger’s site, Jaywalk, on the topic of Singapore’s political system as the country faces its next election. And because I only have very limited access to internet for the past week, I have been more preoccupied with the discussions happening there when I can get access to the net. (BTW, thanks Jay for the stimulation that I get from your site.)

What started the discussion was a TV forum the Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew (LKY) had with the Singapore’s young adults of today. They did not experience the hard slog of the country from the time LKY won the Singapore’s first election after the colonial hand over, and the effort it took to make Singapore the prosperous, modern city it is today in South East Asia. I read somewhere today (in an older version of the Lonely Planet at the library) and it says the young generation of today wants more than financial stability and brains, it wants a HEART. I thought, that really sums up what I feel is lacking in the Singapore political system.

My thoughts have been: Can a socialistic democratic country like Singapore who sacrifices the individual right for the betterment of the collective good, be better than the democratic society where individual rights are upheld and protected but the country faces other hairy problems related to the freedom of speech? When one compares the safety and stability of Singapore to countries like the US, UK and other western countries, human nature’s basic need for security would make the Singapore style of governance quite attractive at first glance. But could the country sustain that over time when the individual’s rights to freedom of speech and choice that is outside of the government’s values and beliefs are impinged upon, and the individual feels oppressed and suppressed?

One thing that came up in the discussion very profusely is that the Singapore government is not loosening their rein on the freedom of speech because the citizens are not yet matured enough to be accountable for such freedom and therefore cannot have true democracy. Whether the country is ready for true democracy is determined by the government who will know when the time is right for the people of Singapore to experience true democracy. Will that ever happen, given most of the oppositions were almost always accused of defamation and sued to oblivion? And why are the rights of the individual citizens relinquished to the goverment in a theoretically democratic country who goes through the process of election and all? Doesn't that give the government all the more right to exercise further control and perpetuate the lack of freedom of individual? Is that an example of an over protective parent who refuses to cut lose the apron’s string and continues to control the child well into his adulthood giving him no chance to learn to stand up on his own two feet, thus going through life with a lack of confidence to be an adult in his own right?

Don’t get me wrong, I think Singapore has benefited a lot from the PAP’s rule and LKY has done a lot of good for the country since its independence 40 years ago, compared to it’s counterparts in Asia. Many people from western cultures love to visit the country because it is a safe, clean city with modern infrastructure. I just wonder what will happen going forward because a country is dynamic and society changes. The needs of a society will change and will Singaporeans remain happy and content with economic prosperity and stability for the sacrifice of the loss of individual and minority rights should the current political ground remains status quo?

It’ll be interesting to see if the majority of Singaporean starts stepping outside its comfort zone and start taking risks to see what is available outside the rule of the PAP. It may amount to nothing and worse still costs the country the loss of their current great economic status or it might amount to a discovery of an identity they never thought they were capable of. I think, that will be when the country truly grows up as a society in its own right, when it can make decisions and choices without clinging on to its past clutches and baggages.

DISCLAIMER: This is not a writing with a political agenda to influence, criticise or defame the current government of Singapore in any shape or form. What has been written here cannot be used as reference or to back-up any other views or arguments in any other discussions other than within the comments in this personal post. It is an imperfect individual blogger’s view and thoughts, and is personal. As to the reliability of this writing, it is the readers’ responsibility to find that out for themselves the truth or falsity regarding what's written. The author takes no responsibility to any incorrectly stated fact as it is the author’s impression and thoughts of the topic only.

All discussions following this post are merely personal chats only and cannot be used for any cause or referencing. All comments does not bear any political agenda and cannot be used for any political agendas.

Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep

I saw on the news last week about the change from Baa Baa Black Sheep to Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep . I copied this extract below:

" Nursery school bosses ordered the words of the rhyme Baa Baa Black Sheep to be altered to Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep. The change was made to avoid offending children after teachers examined the nursery's equal opportunities policy. Stuart Chamberlain, manager of the Sure Start Centre in Oxford, could not explain why children might be offended. But he said: "No one should feel pointed out because of their race, gender or anything else. "We've taken the equal opportunities approach to everything we do. "This is fairly standard across nurseries. We are following stringent equal opportunities rules." "

I think this is political correctness taken too far. I'm asian and I don't mind if people use terms like nip, slanty eyes or ching chong if they're using them in jest. I think, what matters more is the context of which they are used. If they are being used in a discriminatory context out of pure prejudice then I would be offended but if they are used because it sounds funny and the person is bringing across a point, then I won't get offended.

For minority groups to feel offended because the word "black" is used when black can also refer to a colour (black sheep do exist!) is taking their right too far. But I think it's not the black people that are upset but rather brainless people interpreting the anti-discriminatory law in a literal manner rather than "in the spirit of the law".

How ludricrous! It's a perfect example of an under-developed logical depth in the issue and theory of ethics!

Anyone care to reason with me?

Cyclone Monica Part II

See where the eye of the cyclone is? We are just about 3cm below the eye. We've been officially been cleared of getting hit by the Australian Biggest Cyclone ever with winds at 350-400km/hr. There were rumours that this was going to be called a category 6 (no such thing at the moment), because this category 5 is so huge.

There's still heavy rain and strong winds, as we are still getting the outskirts of the cyclone. It's now expected to go westwards and Darwin is now the next on watch. Glad to be home rather than the hospital!

THANK GOD that we were protected from the eye or even the inner core of the Monica would have been pretty deadly. As we experienced the inner core of Ingrid (category 4) last year, there were more damage done to the town.

All in all, it's not nice to be at the mercy of something so huge and destructive, but God is in control of even cyclone Monica, what a relief!

Nature or Nurture?

Well, apparently cyclone Monica isn't coming till Sunday afternoon now. Since I've spent the last couple of days frantically preparing for her to hit us Saturday morning, I guess I can sit back and just wait her arrival now.

So, on a lighter note, I have been doing some comparison between girls and boys ever since my son came along.

Seriously, although everyone says my boy is such a good boy, how he's so good natured and beautiful, when it's just between the two of us, he can be very rough. He pulls my hair, climbs all over me, loves jumping on me and bouncing off me and goes absolutely crazy. I must admit sometimes I would wonder if this child has got ADHD but when I compare him with other boys, he is pretty normal and even err on the gentler side. He can sit still and 'read' (he loves flipping through books) a book and he explores his surrounding while the other boys around him are busy making the other children cry. Mind you, he can also give as good as he gets (hair pulling and pinching) when he's in the mood. So compared to other boys, he's normal. But compared to girls, he's a handful and very physical.

I've also noticed how he loves cars and would skip the soft toys in the toy shop. Now I've never given him a car toy until he could say the word car. But I've given him lots of soft toys as a baby. It really puzzles me. There was once there was a girl (a couple of years older than my boy though) in the same toy shop and the contrast couldn't be sharper. She was going to a soft toy, saying "aaaawww... how cute" and my son was banging away at all the cars he could see in sight! Maybe it's the age difference as well. I'm not sure. I'm still observing but at the moment I'm inclined towards the view that some behaviours are definitely testerone induced!

Men and women are biologically different not only in the physical sense but in the chemical sense as well. Men are wired differently from women. Thus, may be, James Dobson's book, Bringing Up Boys need a closer look. Apparently it's written with that view that God has made boys to operate differently and therefore needs to be nurtured with a different mindset rather than boys and girls are born asexual and are nurtured to become boys or girls. (The books is finally on it's way here in the next bookshop order by my church).

I used to think the differences between men and women were more factors of nurture than nature. But I'm beginning to change my views.

What's your view?

Cyclone Monica

Cyclone Monica is coming our way. We are being warned to be prepared for a cyclone in the next 48-72 hours. I heard at the playground today a mum mentioned that the barge that brings our twice a week supply of grocery has been told to turn back due to the cyclone. So, I can imagine the supermarket shelves depleted tomorrow when I get there in the afternoon as I have to facilitate a mother's group in the morning. Hmmm... maybe I should try and get there before the group meeting but that would mean waking up at an unearthly hour to get Ky ready.

Then there's the probability that the power will be off again for days due to cyclone damages so I'd better also go get a generator so this time we can keep the fridges running. Maybe I should also consider buying a clothes dryer (it usually pours for days after a cyclone) and stock up on the batteries and candles... what else should I do? Oh yes, get some important papers together so if we have to evacuate to the hospital for cyclone shelter, and if we do come home to a wreck, I have my insurance papers and passports, etc. Hmmm... I'd better back-up my hard drive too.

Anything else I should do?

Best Husband Award

I have to acknowledge the great support and effort my husband has given me over the 4 day-long weekend. I already appreciate his support with the housework and with parenting our son. I think he's a great dad and husband but this weekend, I thought he deserved an oscar awards like the one Mother-Superior's husband got for her from the States.

As I was pretty runned down by the end of last week, I told hubs that I needed him to do the waking up during the night over the 4 day-long weekend since he wasn't going to work. Hopefully Ky would get back to sleeping longer as well without the breastfeeds.

Not only did he wake up all throughout the night for the whole 4 nights, he let me sleep in and took Ky out as much as he could to give me a break! At a garden party we went to on Sunday night, he watched Ky the whole time while I sat and chatted with the ladies the whole night. By the end of the long weekend, I felt soooo much better and more energised and Ky was starting to sleep better.

How's that for a wonderful father and husband! I feel really bad though when hubs came down with a cough and cold at his first day back at work! :o(

3 Parenting Styles - Which Are You?

I've just been to a Tapas party hosted by the most amazing host. She has 2 children under the age of two and she still manages to cook for a party of 12!

Anyway, we got talking about how challenging parenting is and how her almost 2 year old is behaving these days. We discussed about what we should do with children's misbehaviours, their tantrums, their challenging and trying behaviours. For some reason, that made me feel better. It made me realise that I have found parenting particularly difficult the last week because I have not been able to look after myself first. Often I know the right parenting thing to do but circumstances around me make me vulnerable to making the wrong choices. When I don't look after myself first, all my control buttons seem to pop up with a "PUSH ME" sign and Ky invariably pushes it like a toy!

I have been a bit runned-down from a cough I developed over the last week. So between waking up to tend to Ky and having bouts of uncontrollable coughs, I would only manage to catch less than 4 hours of sleep each night. And with work deadlines and other tasks that are pilling up to be done, I have found myself a bit short tempered, not being able to see past the circumstances lately. I know that if I don't want my behaviour to have long term effects on Ky, I will have to just look after myself first so I can create the nurturing environment that he needs. So, my immediate tasks is to get more sleep - by hook or by crook so I can think and parent better!

There are basically 3 types of parenting styles:

1) Authoritarian

2) Permissive

3) Affirmative (A balanced combination of the two above).

I was curious what I would come under although I already knew that I would like to come under the third category so I did a test online. I was pleased to find that I had come under the Affirmative parent.

Yet, I find keeping that balance the hardest task as a parent. It is quite easy to resort to either bribery (chocolate/toys/sweets etc) or threat (spanking etc) - whichever works to give you that minute break from all the whining and tantrums. It's a big price for some short-term peace and quiet. It's a short-term measure with long term repurcussions that may lead to future extreme behaviours like disrespect for authority, rebellion, workaholic, alcoholic, perfectionistic, neurotic or narcissistic and etc.

Balanced Parenting is a 24x7 challenge, but let us help each other to provide a positive nurturing environment that is conducive for our children's healthy holistic growth!

Lesson in Haircut

I finally finished my monthly deadline for my client and thought I make a short post of my boy today. I wish we could post movie clips as well on blogs because I have a good one of him and his playmate (3 weeks apart) dancing away to the tune of the 'Entertainer'. Till then, this will suffice for now.

T
This is a picture of my boy before I decided to spruce up his hair with gel. I intended the spiky look. When I found that his hair was too heavy because it was too long, I decided to get the clippers out. Well, no. 4 would be a good length I thought. Alas, it was not a normal setting clippers. For some reason, it has 8 settings and the no. 4 turned out to look like this....
















Well, it's now too short to be spiked up. I'm glad nonetheless that he still looks as adorable as ever! He looks a lot more grown up with that hair cut, don't you think?

STRENGTH

Following from my last post, the legacy I would like to leave behind for my future generation is STRENGTH. I think it encompasses a whole lot of other character traits. Traits which makes a person able to withstand the problems and issues surrounding them and under all circumstances, be able to stand firm on his beliefs and values that will help him be successful in achieving his purpose in life.

I suppose my blogs and whatever other memoirs I may leave behind may be sources of strength for my future generation. A source that will hopefully point to the true source of strength, our Lord Jesus Christ.

Strength to lead, strength to stand firm in times of persecution, strength to choose the right from wrong, strength to love, strength to submit to one another, strength to be who they are born to be. Strength against condemnations, against the decaying morality of this world, against the counterfiet analgesics of this world - the relief of pain from drug and alcohol abuse and other debilitating addictions. Strength against the evil temptations of this world - pride, greed and selfishness.

Strength to know that they are free to have everything and be anything when they submit themselves to their Creator and Saviour, the triune God, the Father, the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ.

That's a big task!

Friday comes, Friday goes

I'm feeling better today until I realised that the week is almost over. If time goes as fast as it does now, very soon I'll be in my 40's and my son would be in school.

Talking about school, I remember when I used to sit in the classroom listening to my teachers. Most of them would probably had been in their early 20's. I used to think how much older they were. Now I'm in my mid-thirties and can't believe how fast each day and week passes by. Apart from the greater knowledge I now possess of life and a greater depth and understanding of the world I live in, I really do not feel like I'm 35. Memories of my teenage days does not seem so far away yet talking to my old friends now is a reality check of how much time has gone by.

I would never have thought that I would have to think about finances, investment, retirement, leaving an inheritance but most of all about leaving a legacy. It's Friday again and it's not going to slow down either.

One theory in developmental studies say that a person is more likely to accept old age when one feels that he or she has left a legacy they can be proud of. I also found out that mid-life crisis does not have to happen to everyone - only those who have trouble accepting the progession in the life-cycle.

If there was just ONE thing you would like to leave behind for the generations to come, what would that be? Time sure isn't slowing down for us...

Tired

Time flies. I didn't realize I haven't blogged for 5 days! A bulk of my time is used to tend to my son. From the time he wakes till the time he sleeps. The only time I have to myself is when he sleeps - an hour and a half in the afternoon and after 8pm in the night. Sometimes I feel like just going to bed right after myself, but since it's the only time I have to myself, I fight to stay up no matter how little sleep I had the day before. When he doesn't sleep in the afternoon and wakes up every 3 hours in the night, I feel like I'm at breaking point. This week has been a bit like that.

So I haven't had much inspiration to write. I've just been enjoying reading my friends' blogs which is great at times like this. Jay-walk's blog has made me laugh a lot - thank you! Jomel's has ministered to my soul - thank you. Mother-Superior's has made me thankful I don't have to raise my child in Singapore's education system - I take my hat-off to you! I usually don't have lots of time to read a lot of blogs so I keep it to just a few and it's been worth a read.

Right now, I've got a gastro pain and a very sore throat. I hope it clears by tomorrow. So, I'm just gonna climb into my bed. Nite-nite!