Well, you might be thinking why I've been out of blogosphere for soooo long. While doing my tax return a couple of weeks ago, I decided that I should get a bit more techno savy with my systems at home. Up until now, I've been operating on a PC which is 3 years old and the speed, or rather the lack of it, was driving me crazy. I've been thinking for a long time to get myself a new laptop as my work computer and get a home network going. Then I also find my memory is failing me especially after having a child. So I've decided on getting myself a PDA, after all these years of relying only on Microsoft Outlook. The only problem is, I'm no IT geek. I only have a wishlist with a budget and there are no shops here I can walk into and ask informative questions.
So, I've been literally spending days and nights reading up on wireless technology, what is WIFI, how to set it up, what I need etc. Then I have to shop for them online. Reading all the specs on the different models and brands was more tiring than reading tax laws.
So, after all that work, I would like to share what I've decided to buy. If you've got any comments or experience with any of the items, please let me know your comments coz I would appreciate them.
1. PDA - Palm LifeDrive Manager
2. ACER Travelmate 5614 (17in screen for my movie buff husband for when we travel and all other features for my Accounting work & home office)
3. Dynalink DI-624S Wireless Router
4. Maxtor 300GB external Hard Drive for my back-ups
So, any comments?
Friday, July 28, 2006
Sunday, July 23, 2006
The Woodcutter's Wisdom
Here's a great story that puts perspective on life's twists and turns:
As Max Lacado said, "I pray that it will remind you, as it did me, that patience is the greater courage."
Story:
Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before—such was its splendor, its majesty, its strength.People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused. "This horse is not a horse to me," he would tell them. "It is a person. How could you sell a person? He is a friend, not a possession. How could you sell a friend?" The man was poor and the temptation was great. But he never sold the horse.
One morning he found that the horse was not in the stable. All the village came to see him. "You old fool," they scoffed, "we told you that someone would steal your horse. We warned you that you would be robbed. You are so poor. How could you ever hope to protect such a valuable animal? It would have been better to have sold him. You could have gotten whatever price you wanted. No amount would have been too high. Now the horse is gone, and you’ve been cursed with misfortune."The old man responded, "Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know? How can you judge?"The people contested, "Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse."The old man spoke again. "All I know is that the stable is empty, and the horse is gone. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?"The people of the village laughed. They thought that the man was crazy. They had always thought he was fool; if he wasn’t, he would have sold the horse and lived off the money. But instead, he was a poor woodcutter, an old man still cutting firewood and dragging it out of the forest and selling it. He lived hand to mouth in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.
After fifteen days, the horse returned. He hadn’t been stolen; he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him. Once again the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke. "Old man, you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us."The man responded, "Once again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses returned with him, but don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge? You read only one page of a book. Can you judge the whole book? You read only one word of a phrase. Can you understand the entire phrase?"Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. All you have is a fragment! Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t.""Maybe the old man is right," they said to one another. So they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. Twelve wild horses had returned with one horse. With a little bit of work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.
The old man had a son, an only son. The young man began to break the wild horses. After a few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgements."You were right," they said. "You proved you were right. The dozen horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you. Now you are poorer than ever."The old man spoke again. "You people are obsessed with judging. Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? No one knows. We only have a fragment. Life comes in fragments."
It so happened that a few weeks later the country engaged in war against a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded, because he was injured. Once again the people gathered around the old man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken. There was little chance that they would return. The enemy was strong, and the war would be a losing struggle. They would never see their sons again."You were right, old man," they wept. "God knows you were right. This proves it. Yours son’s accident was a blessing. His legs may be broken, but at least he is with you. Our sons are gone forever."The old man spoke again. "It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this: Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows."
Max Lucado's words:
The old man was right. We only have a fragment. Life’s mishaps and horrors are only a page out of a grand book. We must be slow about drawing conclusions. We must reserve judgement on life’s storms until we know the whole story.I don’t know where the woodcutter learned his patience. Perhaps from another woodcutter in Galilee. For it was the Carpenter who said it best:"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." He should know. He is the author of our story. And he has already written the final chapter.
Got this whole article from here.
I hope it's ministered to your soul as it did mine!
As Max Lacado said, "I pray that it will remind you, as it did me, that patience is the greater courage."
Story:
Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before—such was its splendor, its majesty, its strength.People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused. "This horse is not a horse to me," he would tell them. "It is a person. How could you sell a person? He is a friend, not a possession. How could you sell a friend?" The man was poor and the temptation was great. But he never sold the horse.
One morning he found that the horse was not in the stable. All the village came to see him. "You old fool," they scoffed, "we told you that someone would steal your horse. We warned you that you would be robbed. You are so poor. How could you ever hope to protect such a valuable animal? It would have been better to have sold him. You could have gotten whatever price you wanted. No amount would have been too high. Now the horse is gone, and you’ve been cursed with misfortune."The old man responded, "Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know? How can you judge?"The people contested, "Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse."The old man spoke again. "All I know is that the stable is empty, and the horse is gone. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?"The people of the village laughed. They thought that the man was crazy. They had always thought he was fool; if he wasn’t, he would have sold the horse and lived off the money. But instead, he was a poor woodcutter, an old man still cutting firewood and dragging it out of the forest and selling it. He lived hand to mouth in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.
After fifteen days, the horse returned. He hadn’t been stolen; he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him. Once again the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke. "Old man, you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us."The man responded, "Once again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses returned with him, but don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge? You read only one page of a book. Can you judge the whole book? You read only one word of a phrase. Can you understand the entire phrase?"Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. All you have is a fragment! Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t.""Maybe the old man is right," they said to one another. So they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. Twelve wild horses had returned with one horse. With a little bit of work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.
The old man had a son, an only son. The young man began to break the wild horses. After a few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgements."You were right," they said. "You proved you were right. The dozen horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you. Now you are poorer than ever."The old man spoke again. "You people are obsessed with judging. Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? No one knows. We only have a fragment. Life comes in fragments."
It so happened that a few weeks later the country engaged in war against a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded, because he was injured. Once again the people gathered around the old man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken. There was little chance that they would return. The enemy was strong, and the war would be a losing struggle. They would never see their sons again."You were right, old man," they wept. "God knows you were right. This proves it. Yours son’s accident was a blessing. His legs may be broken, but at least he is with you. Our sons are gone forever."The old man spoke again. "It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this: Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows."
Max Lucado's words:
The old man was right. We only have a fragment. Life’s mishaps and horrors are only a page out of a grand book. We must be slow about drawing conclusions. We must reserve judgement on life’s storms until we know the whole story.I don’t know where the woodcutter learned his patience. Perhaps from another woodcutter in Galilee. For it was the Carpenter who said it best:"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." He should know. He is the author of our story. And he has already written the final chapter.
Got this whole article from here.
I hope it's ministered to your soul as it did mine!
Thursday, July 13, 2006
I Repent
I'm glad I'm saved by grace and not by works. I'm glad my salvation is secure in Christ despite the number of times I have to repent in a day. I'm glad it's in the repentance that I am saved, and not in my own perfection for if my salvation had depended on my ability to not be faulted, then I might as well give up on my salvation.
If I were to have my thoughts of today played on the big screen for all to see and if every sinful thought carried a penalty, I might as well be jailed for life. Not that I thought of committing big crimes but the number of small thoughts and acts that were of my sinful selfish motivations and human nature would have added up without me even realising the sins I've been committing.
So, thank you Jesus for the free gift of salvation. I repent of my inability to keep a straight clean record. Your righteousness is beyond me, for I am born a sinner. I am righteous only by your death and resurrection, and the blood you shed for me. Just help me to be a better person for your name sake and for the reputation of your kingdom! Thank you that I've got you. How do people do life without you? What a burden they would carry! Thank you for delivering me from that burden. I love you.
If I were to have my thoughts of today played on the big screen for all to see and if every sinful thought carried a penalty, I might as well be jailed for life. Not that I thought of committing big crimes but the number of small thoughts and acts that were of my sinful selfish motivations and human nature would have added up without me even realising the sins I've been committing.
So, thank you Jesus for the free gift of salvation. I repent of my inability to keep a straight clean record. Your righteousness is beyond me, for I am born a sinner. I am righteous only by your death and resurrection, and the blood you shed for me. Just help me to be a better person for your name sake and for the reputation of your kingdom! Thank you that I've got you. How do people do life without you? What a burden they would carry! Thank you for delivering me from that burden. I love you.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
About The Purpose Of Life
In my previous post on Being and Loving by Horner, Richard suggested I read a book called Leisure: The Basis of Culture. As usual, I started writing up a comment that went longer than my post itself, so I thought, why don't I make it a post instead since I haven't written a post for a week!
I am an advocate of leisure. In fact, I try to get people to slow down a bit to listen to themselves and their motivations. I myself try to practise it as much as I can. Every now and again, the frantic rat and the treadmill effect kinda slides in but overall, I think I'm at a better place now than before with controlling the treadmill and making it work for me rather than I work for it.
I don't always say it in many words but try to live by example and sometimes when I see people get into mini-crisis because of their own choices, I try and explain to them that we need to listen to what our hearts are saying and make a conscious choice to heed it. I don't always get a light bulb effect but that's okay. We are all at different places in our lives and some are just not ready to listen.
I believe God speaks and guides us in our purpose on earth through our hearts and we need to listen to what our hearts are saying. But, of course, sometimes the devil tries to speak to us too and confuses us. Ever asked, Is it God or is it just me? It's a matter of practice when it comes to listening to God. The more we do it, the more accurate we get at it. That was the advise I got when I asked the same question a few years ago.
I also believe that the devil tries to distract us from our true purpose through the busyness of life and making us think we've got to have it all and do it all. (Read: Don't Let The Devil Steal Your Destiny by Norvel Hayes)
Whenever I contemplate going back to full-time work, be it for myself or for someone else, I know this just isn't the right timing but still the human nature in me just wants to ensure a safer future, and to know that I still got what it takes to succeed in the business world. The need to feel secure, isn't that a huge driving force of why we do the things we do. If we knew for sure that we will be just fine, would we still strive as hard?
So I reckon, it's knowing our purpose in life that's important to how we make our decisions and to be able to stand by faith on that knowledge during testing times. To me, that's living by faith.
How did I get to this topic from that passing comment of Richard, I don't know. I suppose I acknowledge the need for time-outs, for contemplation, for listening to our hearts and following our hearts. The need to stand firm on what we've heard and not be swayed by temptations and distractions to take us from that path; the need for me to put away all subtle ways of putting my feet on both the present and the future so much so that I stress myself to the limits in trying to achieve both, thus being double minded. The bible says in James 1:5-8, a double minded man is unstable in all his ways, swayed by the waves in the sea, is neither here nor there, and will not achieve or receive anything.
I suppose, I'm reminding myself that God has put in my custody, a child that needs to be nurtured in all areas of his life and the importance of his early childhood days for him to reach his fullest potential in his future developments. I am afterall, a Princess of God, a Wife, a Mother, a Daughter, and an Accountant/a Counsellor and a Sister to the body of Christ - all in that order of priority. I wear different hats at different times but when I am faced with conflicting demands, my priority checklist comes in. And now I have to return to wearing my Accountant hat because hubs and son are asleep and I've got my tax return to do!
I am an advocate of leisure. In fact, I try to get people to slow down a bit to listen to themselves and their motivations. I myself try to practise it as much as I can. Every now and again, the frantic rat and the treadmill effect kinda slides in but overall, I think I'm at a better place now than before with controlling the treadmill and making it work for me rather than I work for it.
I don't always say it in many words but try to live by example and sometimes when I see people get into mini-crisis because of their own choices, I try and explain to them that we need to listen to what our hearts are saying and make a conscious choice to heed it. I don't always get a light bulb effect but that's okay. We are all at different places in our lives and some are just not ready to listen.
I believe God speaks and guides us in our purpose on earth through our hearts and we need to listen to what our hearts are saying. But, of course, sometimes the devil tries to speak to us too and confuses us. Ever asked, Is it God or is it just me? It's a matter of practice when it comes to listening to God. The more we do it, the more accurate we get at it. That was the advise I got when I asked the same question a few years ago.
I also believe that the devil tries to distract us from our true purpose through the busyness of life and making us think we've got to have it all and do it all. (Read: Don't Let The Devil Steal Your Destiny by Norvel Hayes)
Whenever I contemplate going back to full-time work, be it for myself or for someone else, I know this just isn't the right timing but still the human nature in me just wants to ensure a safer future, and to know that I still got what it takes to succeed in the business world. The need to feel secure, isn't that a huge driving force of why we do the things we do. If we knew for sure that we will be just fine, would we still strive as hard?
So I reckon, it's knowing our purpose in life that's important to how we make our decisions and to be able to stand by faith on that knowledge during testing times. To me, that's living by faith.
How did I get to this topic from that passing comment of Richard, I don't know. I suppose I acknowledge the need for time-outs, for contemplation, for listening to our hearts and following our hearts. The need to stand firm on what we've heard and not be swayed by temptations and distractions to take us from that path; the need for me to put away all subtle ways of putting my feet on both the present and the future so much so that I stress myself to the limits in trying to achieve both, thus being double minded. The bible says in James 1:5-8, a double minded man is unstable in all his ways, swayed by the waves in the sea, is neither here nor there, and will not achieve or receive anything.
I suppose, I'm reminding myself that God has put in my custody, a child that needs to be nurtured in all areas of his life and the importance of his early childhood days for him to reach his fullest potential in his future developments. I am afterall, a Princess of God, a Wife, a Mother, a Daughter, and an Accountant/a Counsellor and a Sister to the body of Christ - all in that order of priority. I wear different hats at different times but when I am faced with conflicting demands, my priority checklist comes in. And now I have to return to wearing my Accountant hat because hubs and son are asleep and I've got my tax return to do!
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Being & Loving by Horner
I received a book I ordered yesterday in the mail which I paid about $60.00 for. Expecting it to be like a textbook material kinda book, I was surprised when the parcel came in and it was only just under 1cm thick. Nonetheless, I have been waiting for this particular book eargerly and stayed up till 4.15am last night reading this book.
So, yes, the title is Being & Loving by Althea J Horner. Anyway, the author basically said that often people do one of these 3 things:
1. They find themselves loving and working hard at keeping their relationships that they lose their own identity in the whole process.
2. They find themselves at risk of losing their own identity when trying to love others that they eventually resent the partner for being over-controlling (eventhough that's only their perception) and they find themselves trapped.
3. They find themselves in a state of ambivalent that they cannot go either way - that is, to have their own identity or to love freely that they find themselves utterly disappointed with the partner and trapped in their own ambivalence.
All three states are no good. (Horner, page 3)
Horner said the reason for such inner turmoil and conflicts are due to the first three years of a child's development and this point was substantiated by the attachment, separation and individuation theory of development of which she quoted a few. In the first 5-6months, the baby has to learn attachment to a primary giver to learn basic trust. Then from 6-16months, they learn separation and individuation. If all this process and stages takes place successfully, the child will have intrinsic basic trust in loving people and also a strong sense of self.
Without that taking place, the child will find themselves in one of the above situation when they become an adult.
So what do you think about that?
I've yet to finish the book and might do another follow-up post on it but I'll stop here since I think this is enough for a start.
So, yes, the title is Being & Loving by Althea J Horner. Anyway, the author basically said that often people do one of these 3 things:
1. They find themselves loving and working hard at keeping their relationships that they lose their own identity in the whole process.
2. They find themselves at risk of losing their own identity when trying to love others that they eventually resent the partner for being over-controlling (eventhough that's only their perception) and they find themselves trapped.
3. They find themselves in a state of ambivalent that they cannot go either way - that is, to have their own identity or to love freely that they find themselves utterly disappointed with the partner and trapped in their own ambivalence.
All three states are no good. (Horner, page 3)
Horner said the reason for such inner turmoil and conflicts are due to the first three years of a child's development and this point was substantiated by the attachment, separation and individuation theory of development of which she quoted a few. In the first 5-6months, the baby has to learn attachment to a primary giver to learn basic trust. Then from 6-16months, they learn separation and individuation. If all this process and stages takes place successfully, the child will have intrinsic basic trust in loving people and also a strong sense of self.
Without that taking place, the child will find themselves in one of the above situation when they become an adult.
So what do you think about that?
I've yet to finish the book and might do another follow-up post on it but I'll stop here since I think this is enough for a start.
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Hong Kong Disneyland
A few months ago, my high tech friend Jaywalk told me I could do a video blog by uploading my video clips on this site. So I thought I give it a try.
Here's a video of the fireworks at the Hong Kong Disneyland. If I'm not wrong, they do this every night as their closing parade. I thought it was pretty impressive. Not as impressive as the Sydney New Year's Eve Fireworks but pretty good for something that's done on a daily basis.
View video here
I heard a lot of ill report of the Hong Kong Disneyland but mostly 3rd hand stories. One was that many of the people that go to Hong Kong Disneyland are from China and the Chinese do not know how to give each other personal space in queues (in general, that is) so that makes the whole experience very unpleasant especially when the queues are terribly long. The other was the place is not very hygienic because they (the Chinese) spit a lot. There was also complaints that it was too small and therefore not worth going.
Well, I actually had quite a good time there and didn't experience any of the problems others had encountered. The queues weren't too long - with the exception of checking in at the Hollywood hotel. I had to queue for almost 45 minutes just to get checked in. Maybe it wasn't quite peak period yet when we went. I found on the contrary, the place very clean. Almost like a cleaner was trailing behind us to pick after us everywhere we went.
The only other complaint I have is again with the hotel. On the website, it was stated that the rate of the hotel included all mini-bar, but when we got there, it was an EMPTY fridge.
The queing problem I did encounter, but not at Disney. It was at the airport. We went to the airport well before the counters were opened for checking in. So we were the first in the queue. We left a 1m space between the counter and us for thoroughfare. 1 minute before the counters were opened, a busload of Chinese tourists came along and helped themselves to the space in front of us. I was flabbergasted! Anyway, I was thankful it didn't happen again. The ugly side of me would have probably surfaced.
I also uploaded some pictures but while uploading I decided to surf the net as well and for some reason lost the page altogether so maybe another time....
Here's a video of the fireworks at the Hong Kong Disneyland. If I'm not wrong, they do this every night as their closing parade. I thought it was pretty impressive. Not as impressive as the Sydney New Year's Eve Fireworks but pretty good for something that's done on a daily basis.
View video here
I heard a lot of ill report of the Hong Kong Disneyland but mostly 3rd hand stories. One was that many of the people that go to Hong Kong Disneyland are from China and the Chinese do not know how to give each other personal space in queues (in general, that is) so that makes the whole experience very unpleasant especially when the queues are terribly long. The other was the place is not very hygienic because they (the Chinese) spit a lot. There was also complaints that it was too small and therefore not worth going.
Well, I actually had quite a good time there and didn't experience any of the problems others had encountered. The queues weren't too long - with the exception of checking in at the Hollywood hotel. I had to queue for almost 45 minutes just to get checked in. Maybe it wasn't quite peak period yet when we went. I found on the contrary, the place very clean. Almost like a cleaner was trailing behind us to pick after us everywhere we went.
The only other complaint I have is again with the hotel. On the website, it was stated that the rate of the hotel included all mini-bar, but when we got there, it was an EMPTY fridge.
The queing problem I did encounter, but not at Disney. It was at the airport. We went to the airport well before the counters were opened for checking in. So we were the first in the queue. We left a 1m space between the counter and us for thoroughfare. 1 minute before the counters were opened, a busload of Chinese tourists came along and helped themselves to the space in front of us. I was flabbergasted! Anyway, I was thankful it didn't happen again. The ugly side of me would have probably surfaced.
I also uploaded some pictures but while uploading I decided to surf the net as well and for some reason lost the page altogether so maybe another time....
Friday, June 23, 2006
Second Round of World Cup
As we woke ourselves up at what I call an unearthly hour (4.30am) and sat through a gruelling match against Croatia, I questioned why I put myself through all that. Why do we purposely subject ourselves to pain and agony just to feel the exhilaration at winning a game? The game was crucial for the World Cup yes, but it is definitely NOT crucial to life.
So forgive me Socceroos and all Socceroos' fans, but I half hoped that we will lose so that all this late nights and early morning wakings would end now and life will revert to some sort of normality for us. Now we have to go through another round of it all. I think my heart (and my body) is not that strong to sit through the second round.
Then again, this is one aspect of living life to the fullest. Perhaps this is what it means to stop and smell the roses and to seize the day?
So forgive me Socceroos and all Socceroos' fans, but I half hoped that we will lose so that all this late nights and early morning wakings would end now and life will revert to some sort of normality for us. Now we have to go through another round of it all. I think my heart (and my body) is not that strong to sit through the second round.
Then again, this is one aspect of living life to the fullest. Perhaps this is what it means to stop and smell the roses and to seize the day?
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Yum Cha Tea Ritual
Since coming back from our holidays I've been find it hard to find time to blog. Why so busy? I notice something is different. Can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe my husband and I have been spending more time together since we got back because that's what we did for 3weeks. We seem to have bonded a little closer in the 3 weeks, and the holiday's got us into a routine of spending quality time together as we found a new interest in tea ritual. What's that? Here's a picture of our tea set bought from Hong Kong and my current favourite tea - Blossom Jasmine (picture above).
The Blossom Jasmine (or the Snowball Jasmine) is Oolong tea intricately woven into a ball with Jasmine and Crysanthemum in the centre. The ball then opens up into a flower in the teapot as seen above. Not only is it pretty, but it is also a very nice sweet smelling tea. Definitely by far, my favourite tea.
Below is the tea set we bought from Lama Island in Hong Kong from Chin Yip Tea Shop. A shop that's just newly opened and owned by 2 young brothers. We just wanted to experience 'Yum Cha' when we went in and the whole experience was so pleasant we bought a set home. Lama Island is a quaint little island about half an hour from Central HK by Ferry and there are no cars in Lama Island. One third of the population of about 5000 are expatriats so in a middle of a very chinese row of shops along the jetti, you get a very English pub. There is also a great variety of restaurants from Seafood to Thai and Indian food in that same row.
We've been doing a bit of Yum Cha since we got home. That means less time for blogging since work and other household administrative stuff still have to be done. I wish there were more time in a day, and I've got more energy to last longer than 18 hours a day. Imagine if we don't have to sleep, wouldn't we get a lot more time at hand?
There is a lot I'd like to write about but I don't have the time and energy lately to enter into any deep and meaningful at length. So till the next hopefully interesting post!
Monday, June 19, 2006
Goose Bumps
I can't believe it, I'm actually getting goose bumps as I listen to the Aussie National Athem being sung as the game begins against Brazil! I'm actually feeling excited to watch this game.
All the best Socceroos!!!
All the best Socceroos!!!
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Australians, Men and Sports
Well, it's Soccer Mania here in Australia. Usually it's Cricket, Rugby Union, Rugby League, Aussie Rules, Tennis, Swimming, the Commonwealth Games, Tour de France and the Olympics that Australians are crazy about. Soccer isn't the favourite sport in Australia until this year when we got in the Finals after 32 years. For that reason, my husband says, it's bigger than the Olympics!
For tonight's game against Brazil at 1.30am our opposition leader even went as far as saying employers should allow their employees a late morning to work. So what is it with Sports and Australians, and Men I wonder? If my husband wasn't so into sports, I wouldn't be writing this post today. In fact, I probably wouldn't be following the Soccer World Cup, Cricket or any sports for that matter except for Tennis which I enjoy playing.
Have you also noticed how in social settings, the men and women instantly break up into 2 separate groups - the men's group and the women's group? It's such a classic scenario here in Australia that I used to think the Australian men have serious social problems. Now I think it's
a universal problem!!! Is that true?
Well, now that I'm on the topic of men, may I also air my thoughts on how men are not generally good listeners and hate confrontations. Maybe that's got some correlation with the love for sports... any comments?
For tonight's game against Brazil at 1.30am our opposition leader even went as far as saying employers should allow their employees a late morning to work. So what is it with Sports and Australians, and Men I wonder? If my husband wasn't so into sports, I wouldn't be writing this post today. In fact, I probably wouldn't be following the Soccer World Cup, Cricket or any sports for that matter except for Tennis which I enjoy playing.
Have you also noticed how in social settings, the men and women instantly break up into 2 separate groups - the men's group and the women's group? It's such a classic scenario here in Australia that I used to think the Australian men have serious social problems. Now I think it's
a universal problem!!! Is that true?
Well, now that I'm on the topic of men, may I also air my thoughts on how men are not generally good listeners and hate confrontations. Maybe that's got some correlation with the love for sports... any comments?
Friday, June 16, 2006
I'm Back!
Well, hubs, bubs and I had been on our 3 weeks holiday to Singapore and Hong Kong and got back last week but mentally, I have just returned to blogosphere after having to plunge myself into a backlog of work, cleaning and getting connected again with my network of friends here.
In between all that last week, there was also the excitement of Australia beating Japan 3-1 (should have been 3-0 if the fault was picked up by the referee!!!) in the World Cup Soccer in Germany. Normally, I'm not into sports but Australia hasn't made it to the finals in the Soccer World Cup since 32 years ago so it's a big thing. More a nationalistic thing than the love of the sport, really. The 3 goals that Australia managed to get in the last 7 minutes of the game was just grinding but brilliant to watch. What a sentiment it created for the whole week and we're still talking about it!
Then my son went to childcare for just one day this week for the first time so that was another big emotional event. I was really anxious the night before and the whole day while he was in childcare. I even stayed and watch him from a "hidden" room for about an hour before I finally left him with the capable carers. Ended up, he was just fine after the first hour. Ate all his lunch, didn't nap, socialised well, played well, gave the carers lots of smiles and laughs, and was following instructions when I arrived to pick him up! He went so well, I decided to put him in childcare for two days a week starting next week! I'm so proud of him!
I haven't forgotten the holidays. We had so much fun. It really brought out the good in all of us but it was also very tiring thus the need to sleep a few days after we returned! We ate and walked heaps but we must have eaten more than we walked because I still gained a few kilos! I will have to have a post or two on the holidays.
Well, that's all for now. I thought I start with something small to get the momentum back!
In between all that last week, there was also the excitement of Australia beating Japan 3-1 (should have been 3-0 if the fault was picked up by the referee!!!) in the World Cup Soccer in Germany. Normally, I'm not into sports but Australia hasn't made it to the finals in the Soccer World Cup since 32 years ago so it's a big thing. More a nationalistic thing than the love of the sport, really. The 3 goals that Australia managed to get in the last 7 minutes of the game was just grinding but brilliant to watch. What a sentiment it created for the whole week and we're still talking about it!
Then my son went to childcare for just one day this week for the first time so that was another big emotional event. I was really anxious the night before and the whole day while he was in childcare. I even stayed and watch him from a "hidden" room for about an hour before I finally left him with the capable carers. Ended up, he was just fine after the first hour. Ate all his lunch, didn't nap, socialised well, played well, gave the carers lots of smiles and laughs, and was following instructions when I arrived to pick him up! He went so well, I decided to put him in childcare for two days a week starting next week! I'm so proud of him!
I haven't forgotten the holidays. We had so much fun. It really brought out the good in all of us but it was also very tiring thus the need to sleep a few days after we returned! We ate and walked heaps but we must have eaten more than we walked because I still gained a few kilos! I will have to have a post or two on the holidays.
Well, that's all for now. I thought I start with something small to get the momentum back!
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
The Light Of The World
Following my previous post, I just wanted to talk a little bit about this passage (Matt 5:13-16). I would have found the verse myself, but it was late and I just wanted to jot down my thoughts quickly, so thanks to Richard for telling me what the reference is for my previous post!
I know some people would interprete the verse to say that we as Christians must be responsible for our behaviour or be a stumbling block to others or worse, risk losing our salvation if we don't exhibit characters that shine for God. What I find with a lot Christians is that the emphasis on striving for holiness and what's right is heavier than the emphasis on why we became Christians in the first place.
Granted there are a lot of reasons why different people call themselves Christians. Some think because they are born in a Christian family, they are Christians. Others think because the country they live in has a Christian heritage, that makes them a Christian. And some others think because they are living a Christian lifestyle (going to church, praying, doing good works) they are a Christian. To me, a Christian is one who seeks to know the Lord in an intimate way. One who strives to have a genuine authentic relationship with the Lord. One that bears his soul to the Lord. And through that relationship, a transformation takes place and a person is changed inside out, not outside in. To me, The Light Of The World shines from within and throughout. As Nicky Gumble (Alpha Speaker) said something to this effect, "going to church doesn't make you a christian, just as going to McDonald's doesn't make one a hamburger". The Light of the World shines because he or she has met with God and has experienced the overwhelming grace of God.
Sometimes that transformation takes a long time for some because of the harsh background that they come from. That transformation is corelated with how easily that person can come into a genuine authentic relationship with God. We live in such a broken world, that type of relationship does not come naturally for most people. It takes healing and inner change and growth for an individual to come to that place of relationship.
So to me, that Light is not about works or doing good but it's about the conditions of our souls/hearts. To me, the salt in the verse (Matt 5:13) is the passion in our hearts for that restoration of a beautiful relationship with God. A soul without that passion or fire is as good as dead. The good works is an end result of that intimate relationship with God that others cannot help but see because light cannot be hidden no matter how you try.
We are a moral agent because we have the law of God written in our hearts (Romans 2:14-16)) and both Christians and Non-Christians have that, but doing right and being good in itself doesn't necessarily restore our relationship with our Father in Heaven and neither does it free us from the bondages of sin.
There's no denying that we are a moral agent, we are created by God in His image and God is a moral agent, but does that mean that we should not integrate psychology which has its origins in humanistic views in our spiritual pursuits? This will have to be my next serious post...
I know some people would interprete the verse to say that we as Christians must be responsible for our behaviour or be a stumbling block to others or worse, risk losing our salvation if we don't exhibit characters that shine for God. What I find with a lot Christians is that the emphasis on striving for holiness and what's right is heavier than the emphasis on why we became Christians in the first place.
Granted there are a lot of reasons why different people call themselves Christians. Some think because they are born in a Christian family, they are Christians. Others think because the country they live in has a Christian heritage, that makes them a Christian. And some others think because they are living a Christian lifestyle (going to church, praying, doing good works) they are a Christian. To me, a Christian is one who seeks to know the Lord in an intimate way. One who strives to have a genuine authentic relationship with the Lord. One that bears his soul to the Lord. And through that relationship, a transformation takes place and a person is changed inside out, not outside in. To me, The Light Of The World shines from within and throughout. As Nicky Gumble (Alpha Speaker) said something to this effect, "going to church doesn't make you a christian, just as going to McDonald's doesn't make one a hamburger". The Light of the World shines because he or she has met with God and has experienced the overwhelming grace of God.
Sometimes that transformation takes a long time for some because of the harsh background that they come from. That transformation is corelated with how easily that person can come into a genuine authentic relationship with God. We live in such a broken world, that type of relationship does not come naturally for most people. It takes healing and inner change and growth for an individual to come to that place of relationship.
So to me, that Light is not about works or doing good but it's about the conditions of our souls/hearts. To me, the salt in the verse (Matt 5:13) is the passion in our hearts for that restoration of a beautiful relationship with God. A soul without that passion or fire is as good as dead. The good works is an end result of that intimate relationship with God that others cannot help but see because light cannot be hidden no matter how you try.
We are a moral agent because we have the law of God written in our hearts (Romans 2:14-16)) and both Christians and Non-Christians have that, but doing right and being good in itself doesn't necessarily restore our relationship with our Father in Heaven and neither does it free us from the bondages of sin.
There's no denying that we are a moral agent, we are created by God in His image and God is a moral agent, but does that mean that we should not integrate psychology which has its origins in humanistic views in our spiritual pursuits? This will have to be my next serious post...
Thursday, May 11, 2006
"We Are A Moral Agent" - So What Does That Mean?
The surmon on Sunday was given by an elder and he spoke on "If a salt has lost it's saltiness, what good is it? Might as well throw it away" (Mum2One's paraphrased version of Matthew chapter 5, verse... can't remember). Our senior pastors are away for a few weeks. It was the first week I sat down and listened to almost the whole surmon without getting interrupted since I become a mum! Sometimes I think, it doesn't make any difference, because I get more frustrated by the sweeping statements and ignorance of the preacher.
I think the surmon was supposed to get everyone to return to their conscience and to start being accountable for our actions. It's supposed to make us get back on holiness and on the things of God. Sadly, for me, it came across as being critical of Psychology with sweeping accusations of what Psychology does and he seemed to have lost sight that whilst God has the highest standard when it comes to morality, NONE of us are spared of the ugliness of sin. That sinful nature shows up in our behaviour and character and our thoughts. Now, if we dismiss psychology, which is the study of the mind, or the soul (for those of us who believe in souls and that the soul and the mind are intertwined) then we dismiss the fall of Man, we do not understand human nature, and we are not able to accept who we really are, our curse and the process of sanctification.
Sure, conversion is instantaneously but sanctification is a lifelong process. If we interprete that verse according to how moral we are, then I think lots of us will be in the rubbish bin, discarded and unuseable. But if sanctification is a lifelong process, then surely some of us are more salty than others depending on how long we've started that process. I guess if I have to interprete that verse according to how it was preached today, I would say that even the most reduced salt agent cannot be discarded because he/she still bears some, even if very little, saltiness.
I find myself disagreeing with a many preachings. It's not that I don't agree that we should reflect on our 'lack-of's', strive for godliness and Christlike characters but more so with their lack of cohesiveness in their argument with reality and relevance. I'm learning not to react too much after hearing preachings like that but I need to blog this out so it's out of my system.
I hope I'm making sense because it's past midnight. I'm probably suffering from incohesiveness myself!!!
I think the surmon was supposed to get everyone to return to their conscience and to start being accountable for our actions. It's supposed to make us get back on holiness and on the things of God. Sadly, for me, it came across as being critical of Psychology with sweeping accusations of what Psychology does and he seemed to have lost sight that whilst God has the highest standard when it comes to morality, NONE of us are spared of the ugliness of sin. That sinful nature shows up in our behaviour and character and our thoughts. Now, if we dismiss psychology, which is the study of the mind, or the soul (for those of us who believe in souls and that the soul and the mind are intertwined) then we dismiss the fall of Man, we do not understand human nature, and we are not able to accept who we really are, our curse and the process of sanctification.
Sure, conversion is instantaneously but sanctification is a lifelong process. If we interprete that verse according to how moral we are, then I think lots of us will be in the rubbish bin, discarded and unuseable. But if sanctification is a lifelong process, then surely some of us are more salty than others depending on how long we've started that process. I guess if I have to interprete that verse according to how it was preached today, I would say that even the most reduced salt agent cannot be discarded because he/she still bears some, even if very little, saltiness.
I find myself disagreeing with a many preachings. It's not that I don't agree that we should reflect on our 'lack-of's', strive for godliness and Christlike characters but more so with their lack of cohesiveness in their argument with reality and relevance. I'm learning not to react too much after hearing preachings like that but I need to blog this out so it's out of my system.
I hope I'm making sense because it's past midnight. I'm probably suffering from incohesiveness myself!!!
Sunday, May 07, 2006
My Creative Side
Today I decided to spend some time beautifying myself. I took out all my nail care product and gave myself a manicure. I'm so glad I did because I had so much fun and rediscovered the reason to why I did a nail technology course. I kind of lost interest in the nail care side of things since my son was born. My nail care prior to today only involved clipping all my nails short every couple of weeks. No filing, hand massage, soaking in softener, pushing back and trimming the cuticles, buffing and putting on nail polish. Doing the works was very relaxing.
I must be coping better with motherhood now because last week, I suddenly got this urge to do a bit of decoration around the house. I've been wanting to make my son's room a bit more colourful and turn it into a room he can play as well as sleep in but the motivation to getting round to it was a bit lacking. And I finally got sick of having work papers mingling amongst my personal paperwork and decided to turn the guest room into my office.
I went down to the one and only furniture store in town and paid through the nose for an office chair with arm support and I also bought a rug (kid's size only because I wanted to be able to move it easily to still clean the floor without more work) in this sudden burst of change. It was only later that I thought perhaps I should have done the shopping online to save a bit but then I would have had to wait at least 2 weeks before I got what I wanted right away. All enthusiasm would have probably simmered by then! So much for retail therapy online! I must say, this is a real bummer about living here.
Anyway, I thought I show/share what I've done! I was going to critique on the surmon today about being a moral agent but just had to get this out of my system first before I went on to something more serious... hehehe.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Can Social Democracy Stand The Test of Time?
Since last Monday, my broadband has been down following cyclone Monica. The router between us and Darwin is apparently broken down and will take more than a week to fix. So I signed up for dial-up as my back-up only to find the phone lines were working intermittently only.
It has been very frustrating because I have been in a middle of a very interesting discussion at a fellow good friend and blogger’s site, Jaywalk, on the topic of Singapore’s political system as the country faces its next election. And because I only have very limited access to internet for the past week, I have been more preoccupied with the discussions happening there when I can get access to the net. (BTW, thanks Jay for the stimulation that I get from your site.)
What started the discussion was a TV forum the Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew (LKY) had with the Singapore’s young adults of today. They did not experience the hard slog of the country from the time LKY won the Singapore’s first election after the colonial hand over, and the effort it took to make Singapore the prosperous, modern city it is today in South East Asia. I read somewhere today (in an older version of the Lonely Planet at the library) and it says the young generation of today wants more than financial stability and brains, it wants a HEART. I thought, that really sums up what I feel is lacking in the Singapore political system.
My thoughts have been: Can a socialistic democratic country like Singapore who sacrifices the individual right for the betterment of the collective good, be better than the democratic society where individual rights are upheld and protected but the country faces other hairy problems related to the freedom of speech? When one compares the safety and stability of Singapore to countries like the US, UK and other western countries, human nature’s basic need for security would make the Singapore style of governance quite attractive at first glance. But could the country sustain that over time when the individual’s rights to freedom of speech and choice that is outside of the government’s values and beliefs are impinged upon, and the individual feels oppressed and suppressed?
One thing that came up in the discussion very profusely is that the Singapore government is not loosening their rein on the freedom of speech because the citizens are not yet matured enough to be accountable for such freedom and therefore cannot have true democracy. Whether the country is ready for true democracy is determined by the government who will know when the time is right for the people of Singapore to experience true democracy. Will that ever happen, given most of the oppositions were almost always accused of defamation and sued to oblivion? And why are the rights of the individual citizens relinquished to the goverment in a theoretically democratic country who goes through the process of election and all? Doesn't that give the government all the more right to exercise further control and perpetuate the lack of freedom of individual? Is that an example of an over protective parent who refuses to cut lose the apron’s string and continues to control the child well into his adulthood giving him no chance to learn to stand up on his own two feet, thus going through life with a lack of confidence to be an adult in his own right?
Don’t get me wrong, I think Singapore has benefited a lot from the PAP’s rule and LKY has done a lot of good for the country since its independence 40 years ago, compared to it’s counterparts in Asia. Many people from western cultures love to visit the country because it is a safe, clean city with modern infrastructure. I just wonder what will happen going forward because a country is dynamic and society changes. The needs of a society will change and will Singaporeans remain happy and content with economic prosperity and stability for the sacrifice of the loss of individual and minority rights should the current political ground remains status quo?
It’ll be interesting to see if the majority of Singaporean starts stepping outside its comfort zone and start taking risks to see what is available outside the rule of the PAP. It may amount to nothing and worse still costs the country the loss of their current great economic status or it might amount to a discovery of an identity they never thought they were capable of. I think, that will be when the country truly grows up as a society in its own right, when it can make decisions and choices without clinging on to its past clutches and baggages.
DISCLAIMER: This is not a writing with a political agenda to influence, criticise or defame the current government of Singapore in any shape or form. What has been written here cannot be used as reference or to back-up any other views or arguments in any other discussions other than within the comments in this personal post. It is an imperfect individual blogger’s view and thoughts, and is personal. As to the reliability of this writing, it is the readers’ responsibility to find that out for themselves the truth or falsity regarding what's written. The author takes no responsibility to any incorrectly stated fact as it is the author’s impression and thoughts of the topic only.
All discussions following this post are merely personal chats only and cannot be used for any cause or referencing. All comments does not bear any political agenda and cannot be used for any political agendas.
It has been very frustrating because I have been in a middle of a very interesting discussion at a fellow good friend and blogger’s site, Jaywalk, on the topic of Singapore’s political system as the country faces its next election. And because I only have very limited access to internet for the past week, I have been more preoccupied with the discussions happening there when I can get access to the net. (BTW, thanks Jay for the stimulation that I get from your site.)
What started the discussion was a TV forum the Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew (LKY) had with the Singapore’s young adults of today. They did not experience the hard slog of the country from the time LKY won the Singapore’s first election after the colonial hand over, and the effort it took to make Singapore the prosperous, modern city it is today in South East Asia. I read somewhere today (in an older version of the Lonely Planet at the library) and it says the young generation of today wants more than financial stability and brains, it wants a HEART. I thought, that really sums up what I feel is lacking in the Singapore political system.
My thoughts have been: Can a socialistic democratic country like Singapore who sacrifices the individual right for the betterment of the collective good, be better than the democratic society where individual rights are upheld and protected but the country faces other hairy problems related to the freedom of speech? When one compares the safety and stability of Singapore to countries like the US, UK and other western countries, human nature’s basic need for security would make the Singapore style of governance quite attractive at first glance. But could the country sustain that over time when the individual’s rights to freedom of speech and choice that is outside of the government’s values and beliefs are impinged upon, and the individual feels oppressed and suppressed?
One thing that came up in the discussion very profusely is that the Singapore government is not loosening their rein on the freedom of speech because the citizens are not yet matured enough to be accountable for such freedom and therefore cannot have true democracy. Whether the country is ready for true democracy is determined by the government who will know when the time is right for the people of Singapore to experience true democracy. Will that ever happen, given most of the oppositions were almost always accused of defamation and sued to oblivion? And why are the rights of the individual citizens relinquished to the goverment in a theoretically democratic country who goes through the process of election and all? Doesn't that give the government all the more right to exercise further control and perpetuate the lack of freedom of individual? Is that an example of an over protective parent who refuses to cut lose the apron’s string and continues to control the child well into his adulthood giving him no chance to learn to stand up on his own two feet, thus going through life with a lack of confidence to be an adult in his own right?
Don’t get me wrong, I think Singapore has benefited a lot from the PAP’s rule and LKY has done a lot of good for the country since its independence 40 years ago, compared to it’s counterparts in Asia. Many people from western cultures love to visit the country because it is a safe, clean city with modern infrastructure. I just wonder what will happen going forward because a country is dynamic and society changes. The needs of a society will change and will Singaporeans remain happy and content with economic prosperity and stability for the sacrifice of the loss of individual and minority rights should the current political ground remains status quo?
It’ll be interesting to see if the majority of Singaporean starts stepping outside its comfort zone and start taking risks to see what is available outside the rule of the PAP. It may amount to nothing and worse still costs the country the loss of their current great economic status or it might amount to a discovery of an identity they never thought they were capable of. I think, that will be when the country truly grows up as a society in its own right, when it can make decisions and choices without clinging on to its past clutches and baggages.
DISCLAIMER: This is not a writing with a political agenda to influence, criticise or defame the current government of Singapore in any shape or form. What has been written here cannot be used as reference or to back-up any other views or arguments in any other discussions other than within the comments in this personal post. It is an imperfect individual blogger’s view and thoughts, and is personal. As to the reliability of this writing, it is the readers’ responsibility to find that out for themselves the truth or falsity regarding what's written. The author takes no responsibility to any incorrectly stated fact as it is the author’s impression and thoughts of the topic only.
All discussions following this post are merely personal chats only and cannot be used for any cause or referencing. All comments does not bear any political agenda and cannot be used for any political agendas.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep
I saw on the news last week about the change from Baa Baa Black Sheep to Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep . I copied this extract below:
" Nursery school bosses ordered the words of the rhyme Baa Baa Black Sheep to be altered to Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep. The change was made to avoid offending children after teachers examined the nursery's equal opportunities policy. Stuart Chamberlain, manager of the Sure Start Centre in Oxford, could not explain why children might be offended. But he said: "No one should feel pointed out because of their race, gender or anything else. "We've taken the equal opportunities approach to everything we do. "This is fairly standard across nurseries. We are following stringent equal opportunities rules." "
I think this is political correctness taken too far. I'm asian and I don't mind if people use terms like nip, slanty eyes or ching chong if they're using them in jest. I think, what matters more is the context of which they are used. If they are being used in a discriminatory context out of pure prejudice then I would be offended but if they are used because it sounds funny and the person is bringing across a point, then I won't get offended.
For minority groups to feel offended because the word "black" is used when black can also refer to a colour (black sheep do exist!) is taking their right too far. But I think it's not the black people that are upset but rather brainless people interpreting the anti-discriminatory law in a literal manner rather than "in the spirit of the law".
How ludricrous! It's a perfect example of an under-developed logical depth in the issue and theory of ethics!
Anyone care to reason with me?
" Nursery school bosses ordered the words of the rhyme Baa Baa Black Sheep to be altered to Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep. The change was made to avoid offending children after teachers examined the nursery's equal opportunities policy. Stuart Chamberlain, manager of the Sure Start Centre in Oxford, could not explain why children might be offended. But he said: "No one should feel pointed out because of their race, gender or anything else. "We've taken the equal opportunities approach to everything we do. "This is fairly standard across nurseries. We are following stringent equal opportunities rules." "
I think this is political correctness taken too far. I'm asian and I don't mind if people use terms like nip, slanty eyes or ching chong if they're using them in jest. I think, what matters more is the context of which they are used. If they are being used in a discriminatory context out of pure prejudice then I would be offended but if they are used because it sounds funny and the person is bringing across a point, then I won't get offended.
For minority groups to feel offended because the word "black" is used when black can also refer to a colour (black sheep do exist!) is taking their right too far. But I think it's not the black people that are upset but rather brainless people interpreting the anti-discriminatory law in a literal manner rather than "in the spirit of the law".
How ludricrous! It's a perfect example of an under-developed logical depth in the issue and theory of ethics!
Anyone care to reason with me?
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Cyclone Monica Part II
See where the eye of the cyclone is? We are just about 3cm below the eye. We've been officially been cleared of getting hit by the Australian Biggest Cyclone ever with winds at 350-400km/hr. There were rumours that this was going to be called a category 6 (no such thing at the moment), because this category 5 is so huge.
There's still heavy rain and strong winds, as we are still getting the outskirts of the cyclone. It's now expected to go westwards and Darwin is now the next on watch. Glad to be home rather than the hospital!
THANK GOD that we were protected from the eye or even the inner core of the Monica would have been pretty deadly. As we experienced the inner core of Ingrid (category 4) last year, there were more damage done to the town.
All in all, it's not nice to be at the mercy of something so huge and destructive, but God is in control of even cyclone Monica, what a relief!
Friday, April 21, 2006
Nature or Nurture?
Well, apparently cyclone Monica isn't coming till Sunday afternoon now. Since I've spent the last couple of days frantically preparing for her to hit us Saturday morning, I guess I can sit back and just wait her arrival now.
So, on a lighter note, I have been doing some comparison between girls and boys ever since my son came along.
Seriously, although everyone says my boy is such a good boy, how he's so good natured and beautiful, when it's just between the two of us, he can be very rough. He pulls my hair, climbs all over me, loves jumping on me and bouncing off me and goes absolutely crazy. I must admit sometimes I would wonder if this child has got ADHD but when I compare him with other boys, he is pretty normal and even err on the gentler side. He can sit still and 'read' (he loves flipping through books) a book and he explores his surrounding while the other boys around him are busy making the other children cry. Mind you, he can also give as good as he gets (hair pulling and pinching) when he's in the mood. So compared to other boys, he's normal. But compared to girls, he's a handful and very physical.
I've also noticed how he loves cars and would skip the soft toys in the toy shop. Now I've never given him a car toy until he could say the word car. But I've given him lots of soft toys as a baby. It really puzzles me. There was once there was a girl (a couple of years older than my boy though) in the same toy shop and the contrast couldn't be sharper. She was going to a soft toy, saying "aaaawww... how cute" and my son was banging away at all the cars he could see in sight! Maybe it's the age difference as well. I'm not sure. I'm still observing but at the moment I'm inclined towards the view that some behaviours are definitely testerone induced!
Men and women are biologically different not only in the physical sense but in the chemical sense as well. Men are wired differently from women. Thus, may be, James Dobson's book, Bringing Up Boys need a closer look. Apparently it's written with that view that God has made boys to operate differently and therefore needs to be nurtured with a different mindset rather than boys and girls are born asexual and are nurtured to become boys or girls. (The books is finally on it's way here in the next bookshop order by my church).
I used to think the differences between men and women were more factors of nurture than nature. But I'm beginning to change my views.
What's your view?
So, on a lighter note, I have been doing some comparison between girls and boys ever since my son came along.
Seriously, although everyone says my boy is such a good boy, how he's so good natured and beautiful, when it's just between the two of us, he can be very rough. He pulls my hair, climbs all over me, loves jumping on me and bouncing off me and goes absolutely crazy. I must admit sometimes I would wonder if this child has got ADHD but when I compare him with other boys, he is pretty normal and even err on the gentler side. He can sit still and 'read' (he loves flipping through books) a book and he explores his surrounding while the other boys around him are busy making the other children cry. Mind you, he can also give as good as he gets (hair pulling and pinching) when he's in the mood. So compared to other boys, he's normal. But compared to girls, he's a handful and very physical.
I've also noticed how he loves cars and would skip the soft toys in the toy shop. Now I've never given him a car toy until he could say the word car. But I've given him lots of soft toys as a baby. It really puzzles me. There was once there was a girl (a couple of years older than my boy though) in the same toy shop and the contrast couldn't be sharper. She was going to a soft toy, saying "aaaawww... how cute" and my son was banging away at all the cars he could see in sight! Maybe it's the age difference as well. I'm not sure. I'm still observing but at the moment I'm inclined towards the view that some behaviours are definitely testerone induced!
Men and women are biologically different not only in the physical sense but in the chemical sense as well. Men are wired differently from women. Thus, may be, James Dobson's book, Bringing Up Boys need a closer look. Apparently it's written with that view that God has made boys to operate differently and therefore needs to be nurtured with a different mindset rather than boys and girls are born asexual and are nurtured to become boys or girls. (The books is finally on it's way here in the next bookshop order by my church).
I used to think the differences between men and women were more factors of nurture than nature. But I'm beginning to change my views.
What's your view?
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Cyclone Monica
Cyclone Monica is coming our way. We are being warned to be prepared for a cyclone in the next 48-72 hours. I heard at the playground today a mum mentioned that the barge that brings our twice a week supply of grocery has been told to turn back due to the cyclone. So, I can imagine the supermarket shelves depleted tomorrow when I get there in the afternoon as I have to facilitate a mother's group in the morning. Hmmm... maybe I should try and get there before the group meeting but that would mean waking up at an unearthly hour to get Ky ready.
Then there's the probability that the power will be off again for days due to cyclone damages so I'd better also go get a generator so this time we can keep the fridges running. Maybe I should also consider buying a clothes dryer (it usually pours for days after a cyclone) and stock up on the batteries and candles... what else should I do? Oh yes, get some important papers together so if we have to evacuate to the hospital for cyclone shelter, and if we do come home to a wreck, I have my insurance papers and passports, etc. Hmmm... I'd better back-up my hard drive too.
Anything else I should do?
Then there's the probability that the power will be off again for days due to cyclone damages so I'd better also go get a generator so this time we can keep the fridges running. Maybe I should also consider buying a clothes dryer (it usually pours for days after a cyclone) and stock up on the batteries and candles... what else should I do? Oh yes, get some important papers together so if we have to evacuate to the hospital for cyclone shelter, and if we do come home to a wreck, I have my insurance papers and passports, etc. Hmmm... I'd better back-up my hard drive too.
Anything else I should do?
Best Husband Award
I have to acknowledge the great support and effort my husband has given me over the 4 day-long weekend. I already appreciate his support with the housework and with parenting our son. I think he's a great dad and husband but this weekend, I thought he deserved an oscar awards like the one Mother-Superior's husband got for her from the States.
As I was pretty runned down by the end of last week, I told hubs that I needed him to do the waking up during the night over the 4 day-long weekend since he wasn't going to work. Hopefully Ky would get back to sleeping longer as well without the breastfeeds.
Not only did he wake up all throughout the night for the whole 4 nights, he let me sleep in and took Ky out as much as he could to give me a break! At a garden party we went to on Sunday night, he watched Ky the whole time while I sat and chatted with the ladies the whole night. By the end of the long weekend, I felt soooo much better and more energised and Ky was starting to sleep better.
How's that for a wonderful father and husband! I feel really bad though when hubs came down with a cough and cold at his first day back at work! :o(
As I was pretty runned down by the end of last week, I told hubs that I needed him to do the waking up during the night over the 4 day-long weekend since he wasn't going to work. Hopefully Ky would get back to sleeping longer as well without the breastfeeds.
Not only did he wake up all throughout the night for the whole 4 nights, he let me sleep in and took Ky out as much as he could to give me a break! At a garden party we went to on Sunday night, he watched Ky the whole time while I sat and chatted with the ladies the whole night. By the end of the long weekend, I felt soooo much better and more energised and Ky was starting to sleep better.
How's that for a wonderful father and husband! I feel really bad though when hubs came down with a cough and cold at his first day back at work! :o(
Friday, April 14, 2006
3 Parenting Styles - Which Are You?
I've just been to a Tapas party hosted by the most amazing host. She has 2 children under the age of two and she still manages to cook for a party of 12!
Anyway, we got talking about how challenging parenting is and how her almost 2 year old is behaving these days. We discussed about what we should do with children's misbehaviours, their tantrums, their challenging and trying behaviours. For some reason, that made me feel better. It made me realise that I have found parenting particularly difficult the last week because I have not been able to look after myself first. Often I know the right parenting thing to do but circumstances around me make me vulnerable to making the wrong choices. When I don't look after myself first, all my control buttons seem to pop up with a "PUSH ME" sign and Ky invariably pushes it like a toy!
I have been a bit runned-down from a cough I developed over the last week. So between waking up to tend to Ky and having bouts of uncontrollable coughs, I would only manage to catch less than 4 hours of sleep each night. And with work deadlines and other tasks that are pilling up to be done, I have found myself a bit short tempered, not being able to see past the circumstances lately. I know that if I don't want my behaviour to have long term effects on Ky, I will have to just look after myself first so I can create the nurturing environment that he needs. So, my immediate tasks is to get more sleep - by hook or by crook so I can think and parent better!
There are basically 3 types of parenting styles:
1) Authoritarian
Anyway, we got talking about how challenging parenting is and how her almost 2 year old is behaving these days. We discussed about what we should do with children's misbehaviours, their tantrums, their challenging and trying behaviours. For some reason, that made me feel better. It made me realise that I have found parenting particularly difficult the last week because I have not been able to look after myself first. Often I know the right parenting thing to do but circumstances around me make me vulnerable to making the wrong choices. When I don't look after myself first, all my control buttons seem to pop up with a "PUSH ME" sign and Ky invariably pushes it like a toy!
I have been a bit runned-down from a cough I developed over the last week. So between waking up to tend to Ky and having bouts of uncontrollable coughs, I would only manage to catch less than 4 hours of sleep each night. And with work deadlines and other tasks that are pilling up to be done, I have found myself a bit short tempered, not being able to see past the circumstances lately. I know that if I don't want my behaviour to have long term effects on Ky, I will have to just look after myself first so I can create the nurturing environment that he needs. So, my immediate tasks is to get more sleep - by hook or by crook so I can think and parent better!
There are basically 3 types of parenting styles:
1) Authoritarian
2) Permissive
3) Affirmative (A balanced combination of the two above).
I was curious what I would come under although I already knew that I would like to come under the third category so I did a test online. I was pleased to find that I had come under the Affirmative parent.
Yet, I find keeping that balance the hardest task as a parent. It is quite easy to resort to either bribery (chocolate/toys/sweets etc) or threat (spanking etc) - whichever works to give you that minute break from all the whining and tantrums. It's a big price for some short-term peace and quiet. It's a short-term measure with long term repurcussions that may lead to future extreme behaviours like disrespect for authority, rebellion, workaholic, alcoholic, perfectionistic, neurotic or narcissistic and etc.
Balanced Parenting is a 24x7 challenge, but let us help each other to provide a positive nurturing environment that is conducive for our children's healthy holistic growth!
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Lesson in Haircut
I finally finished my monthly deadline for my client and thought I make a short post of my boy today. I wish we could post movie clips as well on blogs because I have a good one of him and his playmate (3 weeks apart) dancing away to the tune of the 'Entertainer'. Till then, this will suffice for now.
T
This is a picture of my boy before I decided to spruce up his hair with gel. I intended the spiky look. When I found that his hair was too heavy because it was too long, I decided to get the clippers out. Well, no. 4 would be a good length I thought. Alas, it was not a normal setting clippers. For some reason, it has 8 settings and the no. 4 turned out to look like this....
Well, it's now too short to be spiked up. I'm glad nonetheless that he still looks as adorable as ever! He looks a lot more grown up with that hair cut, don't you think?
T
This is a picture of my boy before I decided to spruce up his hair with gel. I intended the spiky look. When I found that his hair was too heavy because it was too long, I decided to get the clippers out. Well, no. 4 would be a good length I thought. Alas, it was not a normal setting clippers. For some reason, it has 8 settings and the no. 4 turned out to look like this....
Well, it's now too short to be spiked up. I'm glad nonetheless that he still looks as adorable as ever! He looks a lot more grown up with that hair cut, don't you think?
Saturday, April 08, 2006
STRENGTH
Following from my last post, the legacy I would like to leave behind for my future generation is STRENGTH. I think it encompasses a whole lot of other character traits. Traits which makes a person able to withstand the problems and issues surrounding them and under all circumstances, be able to stand firm on his beliefs and values that will help him be successful in achieving his purpose in life.
I suppose my blogs and whatever other memoirs I may leave behind may be sources of strength for my future generation. A source that will hopefully point to the true source of strength, our Lord Jesus Christ.
Strength to lead, strength to stand firm in times of persecution, strength to choose the right from wrong, strength to love, strength to submit to one another, strength to be who they are born to be. Strength against condemnations, against the decaying morality of this world, against the counterfiet analgesics of this world - the relief of pain from drug and alcohol abuse and other debilitating addictions. Strength against the evil temptations of this world - pride, greed and selfishness.
Strength to know that they are free to have everything and be anything when they submit themselves to their Creator and Saviour, the triune God, the Father, the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ.
That's a big task!
I suppose my blogs and whatever other memoirs I may leave behind may be sources of strength for my future generation. A source that will hopefully point to the true source of strength, our Lord Jesus Christ.
Strength to lead, strength to stand firm in times of persecution, strength to choose the right from wrong, strength to love, strength to submit to one another, strength to be who they are born to be. Strength against condemnations, against the decaying morality of this world, against the counterfiet analgesics of this world - the relief of pain from drug and alcohol abuse and other debilitating addictions. Strength against the evil temptations of this world - pride, greed and selfishness.
Strength to know that they are free to have everything and be anything when they submit themselves to their Creator and Saviour, the triune God, the Father, the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ.
That's a big task!
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Friday comes, Friday goes
I'm feeling better today until I realised that the week is almost over. If time goes as fast as it does now, very soon I'll be in my 40's and my son would be in school.
Talking about school, I remember when I used to sit in the classroom listening to my teachers. Most of them would probably had been in their early 20's. I used to think how much older they were. Now I'm in my mid-thirties and can't believe how fast each day and week passes by. Apart from the greater knowledge I now possess of life and a greater depth and understanding of the world I live in, I really do not feel like I'm 35. Memories of my teenage days does not seem so far away yet talking to my old friends now is a reality check of how much time has gone by.
I would never have thought that I would have to think about finances, investment, retirement, leaving an inheritance but most of all about leaving a legacy. It's Friday again and it's not going to slow down either.
One theory in developmental studies say that a person is more likely to accept old age when one feels that he or she has left a legacy they can be proud of. I also found out that mid-life crisis does not have to happen to everyone - only those who have trouble accepting the progession in the life-cycle.
If there was just ONE thing you would like to leave behind for the generations to come, what would that be? Time sure isn't slowing down for us...
Talking about school, I remember when I used to sit in the classroom listening to my teachers. Most of them would probably had been in their early 20's. I used to think how much older they were. Now I'm in my mid-thirties and can't believe how fast each day and week passes by. Apart from the greater knowledge I now possess of life and a greater depth and understanding of the world I live in, I really do not feel like I'm 35. Memories of my teenage days does not seem so far away yet talking to my old friends now is a reality check of how much time has gone by.
I would never have thought that I would have to think about finances, investment, retirement, leaving an inheritance but most of all about leaving a legacy. It's Friday again and it's not going to slow down either.
One theory in developmental studies say that a person is more likely to accept old age when one feels that he or she has left a legacy they can be proud of. I also found out that mid-life crisis does not have to happen to everyone - only those who have trouble accepting the progession in the life-cycle.
If there was just ONE thing you would like to leave behind for the generations to come, what would that be? Time sure isn't slowing down for us...
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Tired
Time flies. I didn't realize I haven't blogged for 5 days! A bulk of my time is used to tend to my son. From the time he wakes till the time he sleeps. The only time I have to myself is when he sleeps - an hour and a half in the afternoon and after 8pm in the night. Sometimes I feel like just going to bed right after myself, but since it's the only time I have to myself, I fight to stay up no matter how little sleep I had the day before. When he doesn't sleep in the afternoon and wakes up every 3 hours in the night, I feel like I'm at breaking point. This week has been a bit like that.
So I haven't had much inspiration to write. I've just been enjoying reading my friends' blogs which is great at times like this. Jay-walk's blog has made me laugh a lot - thank you! Jomel's has ministered to my soul - thank you. Mother-Superior's has made me thankful I don't have to raise my child in Singapore's education system - I take my hat-off to you! I usually don't have lots of time to read a lot of blogs so I keep it to just a few and it's been worth a read.
Right now, I've got a gastro pain and a very sore throat. I hope it clears by tomorrow. So, I'm just gonna climb into my bed. Nite-nite!
So I haven't had much inspiration to write. I've just been enjoying reading my friends' blogs which is great at times like this. Jay-walk's blog has made me laugh a lot - thank you! Jomel's has ministered to my soul - thank you. Mother-Superior's has made me thankful I don't have to raise my child in Singapore's education system - I take my hat-off to you! I usually don't have lots of time to read a lot of blogs so I keep it to just a few and it's been worth a read.
Right now, I've got a gastro pain and a very sore throat. I hope it clears by tomorrow. So, I'm just gonna climb into my bed. Nite-nite!
Friday, March 31, 2006
What's your story?
I learnt that everyone of us has an important story to tell. Not just the best sellers, but normal people like you and me. That story makes us who we are and why we think and react the way we do. There's a therapy called Narrative Therapy where one's history is told or written, and from there a consciousness of what was lacking in the person's history is inventoried. The author then re-authors his life as he faces the future with the consciousness he now has of his past.
If you were to re-write your history, what would you have changed? How would you have liked to have related with the significant people in your life? How would you have handled the different difficult issues and people in your life? What would you have to unload moving forward? Tough questions, that require tough answers.
On the other note, when you meet people, remember that they have a story themselves. There's no right or wrong stories, just stories. Some sad stories, some happy stories, some uplifting stories, some simple day-to-day stories but all of them make them who they are today. Some are more open to telling their stories because they have come to terms with them and know that's not the end of their story yet. But there are some who prefer to hide them because they have problems coming to terms with their story and cannot move forward.
Finally, whether the things that happened to us are a blessing or a curse (for a beautiful story by Max Lucardo, read here) we do not know because our story has not yet ended and we may never know until we see God face to face. We can but make the best of what we know and can change and leave the rest to him, who is the author and finisher of our faith.
If you were to re-write your history, what would you have changed? How would you have liked to have related with the significant people in your life? How would you have handled the different difficult issues and people in your life? What would you have to unload moving forward? Tough questions, that require tough answers.
On the other note, when you meet people, remember that they have a story themselves. There's no right or wrong stories, just stories. Some sad stories, some happy stories, some uplifting stories, some simple day-to-day stories but all of them make them who they are today. Some are more open to telling their stories because they have come to terms with them and know that's not the end of their story yet. But there are some who prefer to hide them because they have problems coming to terms with their story and cannot move forward.
Finally, whether the things that happened to us are a blessing or a curse (for a beautiful story by Max Lucardo, read here) we do not know because our story has not yet ended and we may never know until we see God face to face. We can but make the best of what we know and can change and leave the rest to him, who is the author and finisher of our faith.
Parenting Joy
I was on my way to the post office and the supermarket for a few things just before lunch today with Ky in his usual car seat going about his usual self, chattering away in gibberish. As I turned into the town carpark, he started throwing what I thought was a tantrum for no rhyme or reason.
I noticed that he's been doing the same thing at the same turn for the past couple of days. I didn't think much of it the first few times it had happened but by today, I was getting a bit puzzled. So I studied him to try and see what he was trying to convey and he seemed to be pointing at the other direction as though to say that I shouldn't have made the turn into the carpark. So I went out of the carpark and went round the same way again. Instead of turning into the carpark this time, I went ahead. Within a few seconds his face lit up and there was a gleeful laughter. I couldn't believe the difference in reaction. As I reached the end of the street and turned right where the pool is, he started pointing to the pool in delight saying, "pool! pool!".
I was dumb founded. My 17 months old baby actually knows the way to the pool! He's been pretty good to ask for things by pointing to me up to this stage. I just didn't expect him to know road directions at this age.
When I finished my errands, I put him back in the carseat (we parked on the pool street instead of the carpark) to come home for his lunch and afternoon nap. He protested again looking earnestly at the pool and calling out, "water! water! pool!". So I made a promise that we will return later after his afternoon nap for a swim. I kept to my promise and he's a happy chappy.
I am glad I took the time to listen to what he's saying. I was surprised by what he could communicate to me and how much he knew. So he continues to surprise me with what he can do each day. The excitement of being a parent!
I noticed that he's been doing the same thing at the same turn for the past couple of days. I didn't think much of it the first few times it had happened but by today, I was getting a bit puzzled. So I studied him to try and see what he was trying to convey and he seemed to be pointing at the other direction as though to say that I shouldn't have made the turn into the carpark. So I went out of the carpark and went round the same way again. Instead of turning into the carpark this time, I went ahead. Within a few seconds his face lit up and there was a gleeful laughter. I couldn't believe the difference in reaction. As I reached the end of the street and turned right where the pool is, he started pointing to the pool in delight saying, "pool! pool!".
I was dumb founded. My 17 months old baby actually knows the way to the pool! He's been pretty good to ask for things by pointing to me up to this stage. I just didn't expect him to know road directions at this age.
When I finished my errands, I put him back in the carseat (we parked on the pool street instead of the carpark) to come home for his lunch and afternoon nap. He protested again looking earnestly at the pool and calling out, "water! water! pool!". So I made a promise that we will return later after his afternoon nap for a swim. I kept to my promise and he's a happy chappy.
I am glad I took the time to listen to what he's saying. I was surprised by what he could communicate to me and how much he knew. So he continues to surprise me with what he can do each day. The excitement of being a parent!
Sleep Schools
As to my hopes of getting my boy to sleep through the night... I did some research into control crying and whether I should start trying that out or any other variations of that method (comfort crying etc) for that matter. I stumbled on an article called Commentary: sleep in German infants--the "cult" of independence by Stephan R. Valentin . Pediatrics. Jan 2005 v115 i1 p269(3). It basically says that the control crying or the advocacy of independence in babies or early childhood is a German and Northern Europe thing (and eventually the Western culture took it on as well) where parents fear that the child will grow up not having the skills to be independent to make it in life. In Asian countries like Japan, it's found that the focus is to get the child to be open to people and to be community oriented. So control crying is not even considered.
Well, I can now be at peace with myself when someone asks, "Have you not done control crying?". I don't need to. I don't need to teach my son how to leap before he can walk. All in good time. He will be independent when he's secure and that's what he needs right now-security. With that type of independence (the one that is the result of attachment formed at early childhood), he won't have a problem with interdependency that is an essential ingredient for healthy relationships.
I'm sure control crying is good for mothers who have no choice but to go back to work full-time and to make sure they have a good night sleep because they have to be alert at work the next day. But I can just shuffle my days to suit myself if I've had a bad night, so why bother about control crying or confort crying or whatever?
Sometimes too many advices are given but not knowing the background of those advices may sometimes be bad advice.
Well, I can now be at peace with myself when someone asks, "Have you not done control crying?". I don't need to. I don't need to teach my son how to leap before he can walk. All in good time. He will be independent when he's secure and that's what he needs right now-security. With that type of independence (the one that is the result of attachment formed at early childhood), he won't have a problem with interdependency that is an essential ingredient for healthy relationships.
I'm sure control crying is good for mothers who have no choice but to go back to work full-time and to make sure they have a good night sleep because they have to be alert at work the next day. But I can just shuffle my days to suit myself if I've had a bad night, so why bother about control crying or confort crying or whatever?
Sometimes too many advices are given but not knowing the background of those advices may sometimes be bad advice.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Extended Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding a baby is now a pretty acceptable thing to do. However, breastfeeding a toddler is still taking its time to be trendy. I'm still breastfeeding my 17 month old toddler and on many occassions thougth of weaning him only because it's the acceptable thing to do. I get asked the question of when I'm going to wean him quite a bit. I've only known of 2 other mums who had breastfed their toddlers till 4 years of age. If I'm not wrong, the jewish in the old testament practiced extended breasteeding - 3 years old is the age of weaning - Samuel in the Old Testament was weaned and given to Eli at age 3.
My only problem with extended breastfeeding is the social stigma and the possibility that I mightn't get my beauty sleep back earlier. Abnormal medical conditions not considered, neither of them are for any wholesome benefits. In fact, I found there are more benefits to continue to breastfeed a toddler than not - see http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/breastfeeding/a/bf_toddler.htm . There's the better health aspect, the attachment/security and bonding aspect (the more secure your child feels, the more confident he/she will be as an adult) and the cost aspect (no need to buy milk and bottles).
So I've decided I will continue to breastfeed my boy till he's ready to give it up. I'll just have to start training him that it'll have to be done in private. At the moment, he's still being fed on demand, so that means, anywhere and anytime (yes, he asks for it when I'm queuing up at the checkout if he's upset- lol). I guess that'll have to stop by the time we go on our holidays in May!
My only problem with extended breastfeeding is the social stigma and the possibility that I mightn't get my beauty sleep back earlier. Abnormal medical conditions not considered, neither of them are for any wholesome benefits. In fact, I found there are more benefits to continue to breastfeed a toddler than not - see http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/breastfeeding/a/bf_toddler.htm . There's the better health aspect, the attachment/security and bonding aspect (the more secure your child feels, the more confident he/she will be as an adult) and the cost aspect (no need to buy milk and bottles).
So I've decided I will continue to breastfeed my boy till he's ready to give it up. I'll just have to start training him that it'll have to be done in private. At the moment, he's still being fed on demand, so that means, anywhere and anytime (yes, he asks for it when I'm queuing up at the checkout if he's upset- lol). I guess that'll have to stop by the time we go on our holidays in May!
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child?
Well, I thought I'd said my peace yesterday on this topic but it seems not. I had a 14 year old with me today to help me babysit my little one. She loves kids so I've asked her to come play with Ky while I get some work done.
We were cleaning up after lunch where Ky had thrown his food on the floor as usual. The whole food throwing and playing thing is getting better but still food ends up on the floor towards the end of the meal. Earlier, she had seen me telling Ky sternly how I was not happy with him throwing his food on the floor and continuing on with whatever I was doing. During our washing up, she asked, "do you give Ky a smack on the hand at all just to let him know that it's wrong to throw food on the floor?" I said no and explained that I don't think it would make any difference. He's got the point that I wasn't happy. He's not dumb.
She's a really good girl - well mannered, polite and confident. She is the youngest of 4 and following her older siblings do what they do had resulted in her maturing quicker for her age. She cleans and organizes Ky's toys for me when she's here. She's like her mum who keeps her home very neat and tidy. Her parents are school teachers and advocates smacking for discipline. So, why would I not smack my child if this near perfect child is the outcome of being disciplined by the rod?
Well, although she and her eldest brother are the perfect children every household would want in their family, her other 2 siblings are not. The thing is, it's not the rod that is why she has turned out the way she has, it's her personality. Both her and her eldest brother have the same endearing personality that no. 2 and 3 do not and therefore faced the rod a lot more. They have no respect for their parents, rebel and do not have close, open relationships with either of their parents. In fact, no.2 & 3 are oten talked about by their parents as difficult children. So, has the rod helped? I don't think so. I think it's caused more of a wedge than anything.
There are many ways of tackling a problem situation or a problem child. There's distraction for the younger child. Witholding or confiscating their favourite toy, sending the child to a naughty corner or room, tackling the root problem of their bad behaviour are other alternatives rather than resorting to the rod at first instance.
At the end of the day, what parents choose to do is their own business. I don't profess to know what really definitely works and what really doesn't so I don't really want to interfere. Why can't parents just say they don't know rather than try and have one set answer for all parenting solutions? Like my lecturer, Dr Graham Barker, used to say, if you only have a hammer in your hand, everything will start to look like a nail. But if you have more tools in your hands, you can use the appropriate tools for each problem. Knowledge equate to tools.
We were cleaning up after lunch where Ky had thrown his food on the floor as usual. The whole food throwing and playing thing is getting better but still food ends up on the floor towards the end of the meal. Earlier, she had seen me telling Ky sternly how I was not happy with him throwing his food on the floor and continuing on with whatever I was doing. During our washing up, she asked, "do you give Ky a smack on the hand at all just to let him know that it's wrong to throw food on the floor?" I said no and explained that I don't think it would make any difference. He's got the point that I wasn't happy. He's not dumb.
She's a really good girl - well mannered, polite and confident. She is the youngest of 4 and following her older siblings do what they do had resulted in her maturing quicker for her age. She cleans and organizes Ky's toys for me when she's here. She's like her mum who keeps her home very neat and tidy. Her parents are school teachers and advocates smacking for discipline. So, why would I not smack my child if this near perfect child is the outcome of being disciplined by the rod?
Well, although she and her eldest brother are the perfect children every household would want in their family, her other 2 siblings are not. The thing is, it's not the rod that is why she has turned out the way she has, it's her personality. Both her and her eldest brother have the same endearing personality that no. 2 and 3 do not and therefore faced the rod a lot more. They have no respect for their parents, rebel and do not have close, open relationships with either of their parents. In fact, no.2 & 3 are oten talked about by their parents as difficult children. So, has the rod helped? I don't think so. I think it's caused more of a wedge than anything.
There are many ways of tackling a problem situation or a problem child. There's distraction for the younger child. Witholding or confiscating their favourite toy, sending the child to a naughty corner or room, tackling the root problem of their bad behaviour are other alternatives rather than resorting to the rod at first instance.
At the end of the day, what parents choose to do is their own business. I don't profess to know what really definitely works and what really doesn't so I don't really want to interfere. Why can't parents just say they don't know rather than try and have one set answer for all parenting solutions? Like my lecturer, Dr Graham Barker, used to say, if you only have a hammer in your hand, everything will start to look like a nail. But if you have more tools in your hands, you can use the appropriate tools for each problem. Knowledge equate to tools.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Parenting
I realise that parenting styles differ from family to family. Each family does things differently depending on how they were raised themselves and the culture and personality of each parent. What works for one family might not work for another.
Yet, there are so many books on what we should do. I remember when I was bemoaning my lack of sleep when Ky was waking up every 2 hours a friend recommended me a book. It was all about setting a routine for the child, what to do with a baby who doesn't sleep through the night, methods of play, sleep, feed processes to name a few. I didn't read the whole book. In fact, to be truthful, I read the summary at the back page, the blurb about the author and a page of two of the book and left it.
Almost 17 months later, I am still plagued with lack of sleep. He's improved a bit over the 17 months but he goes through patches where he sleeps better than some months. The last few weeks has been tough. He's been waking up every 2-3 hours for a feed! So, back to the literature I went, but this time, I did my own research into studies done rather than take an author's advice.
So I researched about 1) when to wean because I'm beginning to get asked how long I was going to breastfeed for. 2) About sleeping patterns of toddlers because I'm wondering if the breastfeeding does affect his sleep pattern. 3) Developmental theories (Erik Erikson, Jean Piaget, Vygotsky) because my dear boy is still going through the separation anxiety eventhough I thought this should have eased a bit after his first year. 4) Attachment theory (Bowlby's Attachment Theory) - to understand the whole need for emotional security, perceived competence and perceived autonomy in a child's development. 5) About parenting styles and what to avoid because I keep getting advised that one should not "spare the rod and spoil the child". No. 3, 4 and 5 are about parenting sytles.
I have formed my own views about my own dilemma and will share them with you. Perhaps I'll start with no.5 because it's an advice I get from well-meaning christians more than any other. I beg to differ. I don't know what refute to give except that the bible also has a lot of other sayings that may not be taken literally due to differences in time and culture. Symbolisms are often used-in this case, rod=discipline. I agree with discipline, but I disagree with the rod bit taken literally. I think there are many ways of punishment and it is not necessary to use the rod. A frustrated or well-meaning parent or carer resorts to a rod because it's the quickest method that inflicts fear on the child so as to gain power and obedience.
I admit, I smack my son's hands when he defiantly throws his food on the floor but more often than not, out of frustration. Apparently, they all do it because it's a developmental thing. Eventually, they just get over it and stop doing it. So, while I should tell him how I feel about him throwing food on the floor, smacking him will not do more than if I had shown my disapproval through words and tone of voice. In fact, the more I smack, the more he does it because he's learning that he gets a reaction from me. Worse than that, I would hate to send the message that the use of physical power is how one can gain control.
What about a light smack you may ask? My question is, what's the point of it? Like Stephen Covey says, begin with the end in mind. If it is to instill discipline, then there are better and more effective methods. They may be more time consuming to enforce, but let's not abuse the bible verse to give permission to a method that is more a choice of convenience to the parent/carer than a choice based on what's better for the child.
Next... my stand on extended breastfeeding and sleeping methods.
Yet, there are so many books on what we should do. I remember when I was bemoaning my lack of sleep when Ky was waking up every 2 hours a friend recommended me a book. It was all about setting a routine for the child, what to do with a baby who doesn't sleep through the night, methods of play, sleep, feed processes to name a few. I didn't read the whole book. In fact, to be truthful, I read the summary at the back page, the blurb about the author and a page of two of the book and left it.
Almost 17 months later, I am still plagued with lack of sleep. He's improved a bit over the 17 months but he goes through patches where he sleeps better than some months. The last few weeks has been tough. He's been waking up every 2-3 hours for a feed! So, back to the literature I went, but this time, I did my own research into studies done rather than take an author's advice.
So I researched about 1) when to wean because I'm beginning to get asked how long I was going to breastfeed for. 2) About sleeping patterns of toddlers because I'm wondering if the breastfeeding does affect his sleep pattern. 3) Developmental theories (Erik Erikson, Jean Piaget, Vygotsky) because my dear boy is still going through the separation anxiety eventhough I thought this should have eased a bit after his first year. 4) Attachment theory (Bowlby's Attachment Theory) - to understand the whole need for emotional security, perceived competence and perceived autonomy in a child's development. 5) About parenting styles and what to avoid because I keep getting advised that one should not "spare the rod and spoil the child". No. 3, 4 and 5 are about parenting sytles.
I have formed my own views about my own dilemma and will share them with you. Perhaps I'll start with no.5 because it's an advice I get from well-meaning christians more than any other. I beg to differ. I don't know what refute to give except that the bible also has a lot of other sayings that may not be taken literally due to differences in time and culture. Symbolisms are often used-in this case, rod=discipline. I agree with discipline, but I disagree with the rod bit taken literally. I think there are many ways of punishment and it is not necessary to use the rod. A frustrated or well-meaning parent or carer resorts to a rod because it's the quickest method that inflicts fear on the child so as to gain power and obedience.
I admit, I smack my son's hands when he defiantly throws his food on the floor but more often than not, out of frustration. Apparently, they all do it because it's a developmental thing. Eventually, they just get over it and stop doing it. So, while I should tell him how I feel about him throwing food on the floor, smacking him will not do more than if I had shown my disapproval through words and tone of voice. In fact, the more I smack, the more he does it because he's learning that he gets a reaction from me. Worse than that, I would hate to send the message that the use of physical power is how one can gain control.
What about a light smack you may ask? My question is, what's the point of it? Like Stephen Covey says, begin with the end in mind. If it is to instill discipline, then there are better and more effective methods. They may be more time consuming to enforce, but let's not abuse the bible verse to give permission to a method that is more a choice of convenience to the parent/carer than a choice based on what's better for the child.
Next... my stand on extended breastfeeding and sleeping methods.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
The Seasons of Life
Nothing goes to waste with God. Just like there are 4 seasons, Autumn, Winter, Spring and Summer in a year, so also things happen in seasons in our lives.
Autumn is where we make an inventory of ourselves and shed the old and unwanted things in our lives.
Winter is where nothing much seems to be happening on the outside but in fact, lots is happening on the inside - strengthening, consolidating of growth and deepening. There is a quiet sense of hope.
Spring is where we see new shoots grow, new things begin to happen and sprout. The signs of life is manifested in the activities and colours in our days. Hope is actualised.
Summer is where things are in full bloom and working at its best capacity. There is a sense of fulfilment and achievement. We reap what we have been sowing the last 3 seasons.
Then the cycle repeats itself, adding richness and depth to our lives with each cycle.
We sow the seeds in our lives by putting in effort towards a future goal. We water them and protect them from dying but it's God grace that ultimately gives the increase because He is ultimately in control of all things. It's the principle of sowing and reaping.
Autumn is where we make an inventory of ourselves and shed the old and unwanted things in our lives.
Winter is where nothing much seems to be happening on the outside but in fact, lots is happening on the inside - strengthening, consolidating of growth and deepening. There is a quiet sense of hope.
Spring is where we see new shoots grow, new things begin to happen and sprout. The signs of life is manifested in the activities and colours in our days. Hope is actualised.
Summer is where things are in full bloom and working at its best capacity. There is a sense of fulfilment and achievement. We reap what we have been sowing the last 3 seasons.
Then the cycle repeats itself, adding richness and depth to our lives with each cycle.
We sow the seeds in our lives by putting in effort towards a future goal. We water them and protect them from dying but it's God grace that ultimately gives the increase because He is ultimately in control of all things. It's the principle of sowing and reaping.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Being the Best You
Together with my pastor's wife, I'm in the process of co-ordinating a program to be run as part of the first year's high school curriculum. It is called the SHINE program and is pioneered by Hillsong Emerge. It is about helping girls between the age of 12-14 to value themselves, to find the strength within themselves, and to live a life of purpose in the bigger scheme of things. It's about caring for their body (value), mind (strength) and soul (purpose).
It has been a passion of mine to free people to be who the Creator (aka God, Yahweh) had meant for us to be. It's about discovering our innate talents that had been bestowed upon each individual and using those talents to the fullest. It's about being freed of the distractions in this world that is pulling us away from our purpose. Being a woman, it is only natural for me to help other women and future women in this area.
Co-ordinating this program involves the initial selling of the program to the local high school's principal, then getting sponsorships from local businesses to help fund the program, and then the actual running of the program in the schools for a period of 8 weeks where girls get to experience hands-on haircare, nailcare, skincare & make-up, respect & etiquette, hear talks on nutrition, fitness and deportment as ways of valuing themselves and walking tall in their purpose. Unlike other personal hygiene talks or girlie commercial magazines, the emphasis on truths about why we do vain things and why we should take care of ourselves are re-instated throughout the whole course.
Personally, it's going to be so challenging and exciting. I personally cannot wait to actually see this program up and running, and to face the exciting challenges along the way.
I hope that whoever reads this blog will also go away with the truth that you have a purpose in God and to challenge you to find that purpose. There's nothing more exciting than being the best You that you can be!
It has been a passion of mine to free people to be who the Creator (aka God, Yahweh) had meant for us to be. It's about discovering our innate talents that had been bestowed upon each individual and using those talents to the fullest. It's about being freed of the distractions in this world that is pulling us away from our purpose. Being a woman, it is only natural for me to help other women and future women in this area.
Co-ordinating this program involves the initial selling of the program to the local high school's principal, then getting sponsorships from local businesses to help fund the program, and then the actual running of the program in the schools for a period of 8 weeks where girls get to experience hands-on haircare, nailcare, skincare & make-up, respect & etiquette, hear talks on nutrition, fitness and deportment as ways of valuing themselves and walking tall in their purpose. Unlike other personal hygiene talks or girlie commercial magazines, the emphasis on truths about why we do vain things and why we should take care of ourselves are re-instated throughout the whole course.
Personally, it's going to be so challenging and exciting. I personally cannot wait to actually see this program up and running, and to face the exciting challenges along the way.
I hope that whoever reads this blog will also go away with the truth that you have a purpose in God and to challenge you to find that purpose. There's nothing more exciting than being the best You that you can be!
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Fresh Water River Adventure
Today, we went to a fresh water river and paid $15 for the permit. It had been pouring the whole week, today inclusive but that didn't deter our other outing mates, so off we went armed with their tarpolene as our only shelter from the terrential rain.
Most of the land at the Top End belongs to the aboriginal thus the need for a permit. In fact, most of the town land is leased from the aboriginal so development is limited. Due to this reason, there's an abundance of undeveloped natural beauties untainted by commercialism. The place is looking particularly green because of all the rain we've been getting shown in the light green growth in the picture above. The normally dusty road is settled and muddy instead. It took us an hour and a quarter to get to the spot.
The first thing the guys did was to secure the tarpolene to the car and the trees around us. Just as well because it poured again within 10mins of us arriving.
Ky checked out the termite nest with the other guys. The termite nests here are huge and that's considered smallish.
The guys started up a bonfire using the branches around to cook our lunch. The usual onion, sausages, eggs and steak with bread rolls and salads. I forgot to take a picture of the food - will remember next time.
This is after the rain. Ky just loves water and he can spend hours just playing with puddles. Thank goodness he wasn't also sucking up the water from the puddles today, so I was quite glad to let him be. I wasn't too worried about him getting dirty because we were by the river and it wasn't going to be long before he'll get a swim and a wash...
I love waterfalls. They remind me of my childhood family outings to Malaysia's waterfalls.
Well, that's our day adventure at the river today. It's always so nice to get away. I just wish I am a better packer for occassions like these because I tend to get there and forget half the things we need. Thank goodness we always go in a group! I don't think I would have survived these outback adventures if it wasn't for our outing mates! Must make myself a checklist.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Simplicity and Strength
The one thing I really like about being in this small town is the simplicity of life. Things don't get very complicated here and there aren't a lot of choices so decisions are straightforward. Like we don't have to think about where to eat out - there are only 2 cafes (one is airconditioned and the other is not), 3 decent restaurants and 4 takeaway joints we can go. Only one butcher, one newsagency and two supermarkets (one is a lot more expensive than the other so that leaves one supermarket to go usually!).
So I find it a lot better and easier to have a set routine everyday of the week. There's a rhythm to my days. I learn to be more creative - in my cooking and in my activities with Ky. I also learn to relate better with people and to build relationships with people without having to go out. Like we will be content visiting each other for coffees and snacks while the kids play in the pool or their slides in the backyard. My husband and I spend a lot more time talking because there's no movies (that's not true, we have video shops and a school hall type theatre) to go to. We don't feel like we're missing out on things because there's nothing much to miss out on here.
We don't have in-laws to help out. However that also means that we don't have the intrusion of in-laws in the way we run our household and inevitably having a significant influence on our child's upbringing. We have to be a self-reliant family unit and to learn to accept support from as well as give support to friends and neighbours. In many ways we miss the support that we could have with family closed-by, but the other side of the coin is that we learn the tools to thrive and succeed without those family supports.
So hopefully we will have under our belt an attitude of simplicity and strength to take with us when we leave go back to huge, busy, bustling Sydney. We would have worked out our strengths and weaknesses as a young family and be better armed. We would have some sort of healthy family structure and firm foundations in place that when distractions come we will be able to draw weapons from the simply way of life to stand strong as a family.
Afterall, how much do we really need in life? Not that we isolate ourselves and be a hermit but there are so much in life that we can do without and still have our happiness intact. It's a matter of perception and attitude.
So I find it a lot better and easier to have a set routine everyday of the week. There's a rhythm to my days. I learn to be more creative - in my cooking and in my activities with Ky. I also learn to relate better with people and to build relationships with people without having to go out. Like we will be content visiting each other for coffees and snacks while the kids play in the pool or their slides in the backyard. My husband and I spend a lot more time talking because there's no movies (that's not true, we have video shops and a school hall type theatre) to go to. We don't feel like we're missing out on things because there's nothing much to miss out on here.
We don't have in-laws to help out. However that also means that we don't have the intrusion of in-laws in the way we run our household and inevitably having a significant influence on our child's upbringing. We have to be a self-reliant family unit and to learn to accept support from as well as give support to friends and neighbours. In many ways we miss the support that we could have with family closed-by, but the other side of the coin is that we learn the tools to thrive and succeed without those family supports.
So hopefully we will have under our belt an attitude of simplicity and strength to take with us when we leave go back to huge, busy, bustling Sydney. We would have worked out our strengths and weaknesses as a young family and be better armed. We would have some sort of healthy family structure and firm foundations in place that when distractions come we will be able to draw weapons from the simply way of life to stand strong as a family.
Afterall, how much do we really need in life? Not that we isolate ourselves and be a hermit but there are so much in life that we can do without and still have our happiness intact. It's a matter of perception and attitude.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Learning to Say No
I read that the 2 year-olds favourite words are 'No' and 'Mine' because that's the age where they are differentiating themselves from the world and from their primary carers to form their own identity. The more they are allowed to say "No', the healthier they will be as adults because they would have formed a healthy sense of self. This so-called "terrible two's" is therefore a necessary evil to becoming a whole and healthy individual.
Have we ever found it difficult to say 'No' to people around us? I was talking to a friend last week who said that she was asked to do something and she said to me, "I realised that I wouldn't have been able to say 'No' even if I couldn't". On a worse note, if someone hurt us, are we able to tell them that they have hurt us and to back off?
Theoretically that means we probably haven't developed a good sense of self so we lack self-respect and we let others trod on us. Sometimes we even justify it by thinking to ourselves that we're being a matyr. Trodden on and disrespected yes, matyrdom no. One who willingly submits oneself for a greater cause - that's matrydom or meekness. One who doesn't have the guts to inforce boundaries and allows things to happen to them because they can't say 'No' - that's no self-respect due to lack of self-esteem.
Which one are you? I admit, I was the latter but now, thank God, majority of the time, I can say 'No' without feeling guilty. If I want to commit an act of kindness or meekness, I am fully aware that I'm loosening my boundaries for a purpose and will adjust my boundaries appropriately. It takes self-awareness and us being truthful to ourselves.
Have we ever found it difficult to say 'No' to people around us? I was talking to a friend last week who said that she was asked to do something and she said to me, "I realised that I wouldn't have been able to say 'No' even if I couldn't". On a worse note, if someone hurt us, are we able to tell them that they have hurt us and to back off?
Theoretically that means we probably haven't developed a good sense of self so we lack self-respect and we let others trod on us. Sometimes we even justify it by thinking to ourselves that we're being a matyr. Trodden on and disrespected yes, matyrdom no. One who willingly submits oneself for a greater cause - that's matrydom or meekness. One who doesn't have the guts to inforce boundaries and allows things to happen to them because they can't say 'No' - that's no self-respect due to lack of self-esteem.
Which one are you? I admit, I was the latter but now, thank God, majority of the time, I can say 'No' without feeling guilty. If I want to commit an act of kindness or meekness, I am fully aware that I'm loosening my boundaries for a purpose and will adjust my boundaries appropriately. It takes self-awareness and us being truthful to ourselves.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
God of Big and Small Things
I know God comes up a bit in my posts and it's OK if you're a non-believer who finds this worldview irrelevant. The thing is, God is not irrelevant.
Our 4WD wouldn't start on Wednesday night. The way things are in this town, everything is scarce, except for the minerals they are mining up here! So, from getting the car to be towed to the workshop to getting the starter motor replaced was by no means a quick and easy job.
It took us until Friday before we finally found someone to come look at the car, only to be told they are fully booked till April and they don't expect it to be ready at the earliest next Wednesday. Anyway, after giving up on finding an alternative, I gave in and accepted that I won't have a car for almost a week. I was Ok with walking but that means I have to be very organised about my comings and goings. Forgetting something means I would have to allow another 40mins of walking to and fro town. However, it was going to be better for me to give in to the situation then fight it. So, I said to God, "it's in your hands" and mentally prepared myself. I felt at peace about the whole thing knowing that God is in control of the bigger picture whatever the outcome, and I will be OK.
Unexpectedly the next morning, we got a call that our car was ready to be picked up! Now, to me, that's my God looking after me. Some may wish to view this as nothing but good luck. Well, that's a bit too airy fairy for me. What constitutes good luck? Some spiritual force? Some karma? Why is it so hard for us to accept that the God of big things, one who created this universe, is also God of the small things in our lives? This is the same God, Jesus Christ, who died for us because He loved us so. Yet, this is the biggest stumbling block to many of us receiving an inner peace and joy - a stress free life.
Our 4WD wouldn't start on Wednesday night. The way things are in this town, everything is scarce, except for the minerals they are mining up here! So, from getting the car to be towed to the workshop to getting the starter motor replaced was by no means a quick and easy job.
It took us until Friday before we finally found someone to come look at the car, only to be told they are fully booked till April and they don't expect it to be ready at the earliest next Wednesday. Anyway, after giving up on finding an alternative, I gave in and accepted that I won't have a car for almost a week. I was Ok with walking but that means I have to be very organised about my comings and goings. Forgetting something means I would have to allow another 40mins of walking to and fro town. However, it was going to be better for me to give in to the situation then fight it. So, I said to God, "it's in your hands" and mentally prepared myself. I felt at peace about the whole thing knowing that God is in control of the bigger picture whatever the outcome, and I will be OK.
Unexpectedly the next morning, we got a call that our car was ready to be picked up! Now, to me, that's my God looking after me. Some may wish to view this as nothing but good luck. Well, that's a bit too airy fairy for me. What constitutes good luck? Some spiritual force? Some karma? Why is it so hard for us to accept that the God of big things, one who created this universe, is also God of the small things in our lives? This is the same God, Jesus Christ, who died for us because He loved us so. Yet, this is the biggest stumbling block to many of us receiving an inner peace and joy - a stress free life.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Love Thyself Before You Love Your Neighbour
Do you find it hard to love yourself? If you are a Christian, do you find it hard to love yourself first before the people you are ministering to? Do you feel guilty if you do something for yourself? We are supposed to love our neighbour as we love OURSELVES. The truth is, we cannot really love others if we cannot love ourselves first.
Love requires a person to give fully of himself. If a person does not know their true self, there's nothing to give. Or if one has only part knowledge of oneself, then one can only give part of oneself. To love fully is to give fully, sacrificial love means to lay it all down. If you don't love yourself, how can you lay it all down? If you do not know who you are, how can you claim to give it away?
So, does that then equate to: if you've don't know who you are and you don't love yourself, then what you're giving away is not the real thing? Authenticity. The real thing. Do we give of ourselves out of gaining a benefit so that we feel better about ourselves? Ie. We get busy with ministry and be a philanthropist because it makes us feel better and take the guilt away? We please others because it boosts our self-image and and ease our guilt. We strive to be better because we are not happy in who we are. We please because we want people to like us and accept us. Not because we genuinely just want to bless the person, with no self-gain whatsoever.
That's tricky, isn't it? It's not hard to do it all for the wrong reasons. No one is perfect, so count me in the hypocrisy and self-gain bandwagon. I am working on it. The truth is, no amount of good works will justify us a place in heaven. No amount of striving and slogging in the ministry will make us a better Christian than the Christian who does nothing. We do acts of kindness because we love. We love because God first loved us. We give of ourselves freely because we are free and secure in that unconditional love of God to be who we really are. If we love others, we will also allow them to be who God has made them to be rather than what you'd like them to be.
May we learn to truly love one another, as we learn to truly love ourselves.
Love requires a person to give fully of himself. If a person does not know their true self, there's nothing to give. Or if one has only part knowledge of oneself, then one can only give part of oneself. To love fully is to give fully, sacrificial love means to lay it all down. If you don't love yourself, how can you lay it all down? If you do not know who you are, how can you claim to give it away?
So, does that then equate to: if you've don't know who you are and you don't love yourself, then what you're giving away is not the real thing? Authenticity. The real thing. Do we give of ourselves out of gaining a benefit so that we feel better about ourselves? Ie. We get busy with ministry and be a philanthropist because it makes us feel better and take the guilt away? We please others because it boosts our self-image and and ease our guilt. We strive to be better because we are not happy in who we are. We please because we want people to like us and accept us. Not because we genuinely just want to bless the person, with no self-gain whatsoever.
That's tricky, isn't it? It's not hard to do it all for the wrong reasons. No one is perfect, so count me in the hypocrisy and self-gain bandwagon. I am working on it. The truth is, no amount of good works will justify us a place in heaven. No amount of striving and slogging in the ministry will make us a better Christian than the Christian who does nothing. We do acts of kindness because we love. We love because God first loved us. We give of ourselves freely because we are free and secure in that unconditional love of God to be who we really are. If we love others, we will also allow them to be who God has made them to be rather than what you'd like them to be.
May we learn to truly love one another, as we learn to truly love ourselves.
International Women's Day
Today is International Women's Day. I find that particularly comforting to know that women are esteemed. The conflicts that we face as women are incredible and the strength that we show is even more so. What with having to be a nurturer as well as pull our weight with the family finances these days, it's not an easy task balancing the two.
It's easy to concentrate on being a complete nurturer or a complete breadwinner as one's focus would be on the one thing only. But in many cases, women these days have to be both and we have to work out that balance ourselves too. It's not something that our mothers would have to contend with (in most cases again) and so role models in that arena are lacking. Personally, as a stay-home mum who works part-time from home, I find the task of balancing very challenging. Like the lady who was interviewed on Today this morning, I agree that we can't have it all and some things have to give. And, what would that be if we have to choose?
To me, it's postponing the things I would like to achieve as an individual. And, maybe because of the choices I have to make now, my choices ahead of me will be different too and I will have to come to terms with the fact that I might never see some of my dreams come true. We do live in a world with limited resources and we do have to choose and we can't have it all.
The other thing I really like to appreciate about women today is how far we have come along in having a voice, in standing up for ourselves, and in respecting ourselves for who we are. We are not the weaker half, we are the other half, which completes society today. Regardless of our role, whether as a stay home mum or the breadwinner of the family, the two are of equal weight and equal importance. An hour of hosuework at home is equivalent to an hour of meeting with the board of directors of a company. We do not do less, and we do not expect to be treated like our efforts are of a lesser value, time wise. Our input into society today and for the future should be of equal weight. Society has some improvement to do when it comes to that.
Going forward, I believe we have a lot more to work on having the nurturing role shared more equally between the two sexes. Being a nurturer is a 24x7 job, and anything pass the 9-5pm hours should be shared equally, regardless of our sex and whether or not we are a fullt-time contributor to the family finances.
Society is evolving all the time and we have to learn to adapt to change as the theory of the survival of the fittest goes. The roles of women are changing too and I believe the rate depends on how much we women will stand up for ourselves and have a voice for what is appropriate.
To all the women in this world, Happy Women's Day!
It's easy to concentrate on being a complete nurturer or a complete breadwinner as one's focus would be on the one thing only. But in many cases, women these days have to be both and we have to work out that balance ourselves too. It's not something that our mothers would have to contend with (in most cases again) and so role models in that arena are lacking. Personally, as a stay-home mum who works part-time from home, I find the task of balancing very challenging. Like the lady who was interviewed on Today this morning, I agree that we can't have it all and some things have to give. And, what would that be if we have to choose?
To me, it's postponing the things I would like to achieve as an individual. And, maybe because of the choices I have to make now, my choices ahead of me will be different too and I will have to come to terms with the fact that I might never see some of my dreams come true. We do live in a world with limited resources and we do have to choose and we can't have it all.
The other thing I really like to appreciate about women today is how far we have come along in having a voice, in standing up for ourselves, and in respecting ourselves for who we are. We are not the weaker half, we are the other half, which completes society today. Regardless of our role, whether as a stay home mum or the breadwinner of the family, the two are of equal weight and equal importance. An hour of hosuework at home is equivalent to an hour of meeting with the board of directors of a company. We do not do less, and we do not expect to be treated like our efforts are of a lesser value, time wise. Our input into society today and for the future should be of equal weight. Society has some improvement to do when it comes to that.
Going forward, I believe we have a lot more to work on having the nurturing role shared more equally between the two sexes. Being a nurturer is a 24x7 job, and anything pass the 9-5pm hours should be shared equally, regardless of our sex and whether or not we are a fullt-time contributor to the family finances.
Society is evolving all the time and we have to learn to adapt to change as the theory of the survival of the fittest goes. The roles of women are changing too and I believe the rate depends on how much we women will stand up for ourselves and have a voice for what is appropriate.
To all the women in this world, Happy Women's Day!
Friday, March 03, 2006
God The Puzzle Fixer
I am amazed at how God pieces fragments of our lives together. How nothing goes to waste and everything has a place in the end. I only see some of that now and am amazed. I can't wait to see the end result of that picture!
I am reminded today of that as I went along my merry way performing what I thought was a tedious task of having to relodge Kyzac's passport application for the 3rd time. Our faces were too big the first time, I had to fill-up a new form for myself the second time, and then now, the passport office has come back to say Kyzac's form is out of date and we need to lodge a new application for him!
Anyway, I dropped in to see my pastor's wife to see if she would sign as guarantor for Kyzac's application since my neighbour is at work. We talked about other things and all of a sudden, it became a divine appointment. It was a very fruitful and encouraging visit.
3 years ago, I did some changes to my life which were pretty abnormal. I quit my secure full-time accounting job to be retrained as a Counsellor. I also did a diploma in Nail Technology (Essentially a Nail Artist course). I just did it because it was in my heart to do it for over a year and those desires just wouldn't go away. What seemed to be a strange thing to do suddenly seemed to all come together as we chatted.
My pastor's wife shared about how suddenly excited she is about a project we had previously talked about because of something she had read the last three days. Although we had previously discussed it, I wasn't sure if it was going to take off. Now, God has got her all excited to go full trottle with it and I feel like I've been placed here for such a time as this. It is amazing because 3 years ago, as I started my Counselling and my Nail Technology courses, not knowing where it was going to lead, I got a word from a lady that said I would be like Esther in the bible who was "born for such a time as this". I've been wondering for 3 years, what exactly that is. Suddenly, pieces of that puzzle are falling into place and I see a little more of that picture that God is fixing. Prophecies I've been given over the years are now beginning to make some sense.
I can't help but get excited each time I think about the completed puzzle! Sometimes life seems like it's going nowhere or we wonder why we're doing what we're doing. Just keep doing what God has asked you to do last and trust because He is not a man that He should lie, but what He said He definitely will bring to past.
I hope this has encouraged you as much as it has encouraged me!
I am reminded today of that as I went along my merry way performing what I thought was a tedious task of having to relodge Kyzac's passport application for the 3rd time. Our faces were too big the first time, I had to fill-up a new form for myself the second time, and then now, the passport office has come back to say Kyzac's form is out of date and we need to lodge a new application for him!
Anyway, I dropped in to see my pastor's wife to see if she would sign as guarantor for Kyzac's application since my neighbour is at work. We talked about other things and all of a sudden, it became a divine appointment. It was a very fruitful and encouraging visit.
3 years ago, I did some changes to my life which were pretty abnormal. I quit my secure full-time accounting job to be retrained as a Counsellor. I also did a diploma in Nail Technology (Essentially a Nail Artist course). I just did it because it was in my heart to do it for over a year and those desires just wouldn't go away. What seemed to be a strange thing to do suddenly seemed to all come together as we chatted.
My pastor's wife shared about how suddenly excited she is about a project we had previously talked about because of something she had read the last three days. Although we had previously discussed it, I wasn't sure if it was going to take off. Now, God has got her all excited to go full trottle with it and I feel like I've been placed here for such a time as this. It is amazing because 3 years ago, as I started my Counselling and my Nail Technology courses, not knowing where it was going to lead, I got a word from a lady that said I would be like Esther in the bible who was "born for such a time as this". I've been wondering for 3 years, what exactly that is. Suddenly, pieces of that puzzle are falling into place and I see a little more of that picture that God is fixing. Prophecies I've been given over the years are now beginning to make some sense.
I can't help but get excited each time I think about the completed puzzle! Sometimes life seems like it's going nowhere or we wonder why we're doing what we're doing. Just keep doing what God has asked you to do last and trust because He is not a man that He should lie, but what He said He definitely will bring to past.
I hope this has encouraged you as much as it has encouraged me!
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Unloading
Kyzac is asleep and I'm hoping I'd have some time to do some reflecting today. I've left it for a while and I'm beginning to feel it - insecurities and a general unsettledness is starting to weigh me down. It's time to stop, ponder, go through my baggage and do some off-loading. Jesus said, "Come to me all you who labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28-29).
Why is my load heavy? Have I been doing things in my own strength? I beat myself up for things I have no control of with work related issues and I try and control the what-if's in my life. I wonder if I should be less this and more that. I wonder if I've made the right decisions. I've been doing a lot of wondering lately. I'm tired now. I think I'll just stop wondering and keep going with what I was doing before I started wondering and walk by faith, not by sight.
The cares of this world is so distracting and easily taken on. I didn't even know it's crept in until now. It's easy to fall into the trap of comparing myself to other people and chasing other people's dreams. Thank God I'm not meant to be like anyone else. I'm meant to be ME, what a relief! I have a purpose to fulfil and that is to be me!
Why is my load heavy? Have I been doing things in my own strength? I beat myself up for things I have no control of with work related issues and I try and control the what-if's in my life. I wonder if I should be less this and more that. I wonder if I've made the right decisions. I've been doing a lot of wondering lately. I'm tired now. I think I'll just stop wondering and keep going with what I was doing before I started wondering and walk by faith, not by sight.
The cares of this world is so distracting and easily taken on. I didn't even know it's crept in until now. It's easy to fall into the trap of comparing myself to other people and chasing other people's dreams. Thank God I'm not meant to be like anyone else. I'm meant to be ME, what a relief! I have a purpose to fulfil and that is to be me!
Dilemma of a work-from-home mum
Working from home is not as easy as it sounds. Any great tip from a successful home-based business person juggling part-time work, full-time mum and marriage?
I'm thinking I'm going to have to structure my week nights (after Kyzac goes to sleep) a lot more than I have. For example:
Mon nights - Games night with Hubs
Tues nights - Work night
Wed nights - Work night
Thurs nights - Marriage night
Fri nights - Social night
Sat nights - Social night
Sun nights - My night
Will that help me balance my life more? Any better ideas, anyone?
I'm thinking I'm going to have to structure my week nights (after Kyzac goes to sleep) a lot more than I have. For example:
Mon nights - Games night with Hubs
Tues nights - Work night
Wed nights - Work night
Thurs nights - Marriage night
Fri nights - Social night
Sat nights - Social night
Sun nights - My night
Will that help me balance my life more? Any better ideas, anyone?
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Truly church
This is where we normally go for our Sunday worships in town but...
...last Sunday evening, we had a different experience of church from the normal Sunday evening services which are normally very good too. Instead of meeting at the church ground, we had church at the beach. We didn't have a sermon - actually, we didn't have a program. No one led songs, no one preached. We just sat around and appreciated the handiworks of God, the beach, the sunset, the beautiful day and the company of each other. We sat around, laughed, ate, talked and felt comfortable enough to share deep and meaningfuls with another brother or sister-in-Christ.
There's something about sharing our lives with each other that makes church truly meaningful. The church is afterall made up of people. That's precious. Hope you had a good weekend and a blessed week ahead. Till next time...
Monday, February 27, 2006
The Impossibility of Being Real
I decided to delete a few of my previous posts last night because hubs raised his concerns about this whole blogging thing. He said if I were to reveal too much about myself some people might take it all the wrong way like the case of the chinese whisper where things are misconstrued. So, I am now reassessing my blog and whether there is any point in continuing with it. Hubs is all for me to blog just so long as I stay away from airing our issues out like hanging our dirty laundry in the public, I guess. I suppose I'm more of an open-book person. Deep down I know he's right about the human nature but I like to think that we humans are better/smarter than that.
I suppose we live in a very small town where gossip is the favourite past-time and words get around like wildfire. Not that I should be ashamed of anything I had written previously, because everybody has issues, every couple has disagreements, arguments and frustrations. That's only normal (read: "Everyone Is Normal Until You Get To Know Them" by John Ortberg). But not everyone is mature and wise enough to see that. It's human nature to make assumptions, talk about other people and make our own comments and some are worse than others. So, we just have to becareful who we tell things to, my husband says. Well, I suppose he's right but I'm disappointed that the world we live in makes it hard for people to be real.
Anyway, that's all I have to write about for now. I'm still coming to terms with this impossibility. How can we be real to one another if we cannot trust each other to be real, and, if we cannot trust people not to turn around and use our authenticity to boost their own ego or for their entertainment and benefit?
Men and women can be so cruel. And I am angry that we live in a world where being real is such a near impossible task because we are so cruel to one another, yet there's a deep longing in each and everyone of us to be accepted for who we really are.
I suppose we live in a very small town where gossip is the favourite past-time and words get around like wildfire. Not that I should be ashamed of anything I had written previously, because everybody has issues, every couple has disagreements, arguments and frustrations. That's only normal (read: "Everyone Is Normal Until You Get To Know Them" by John Ortberg). But not everyone is mature and wise enough to see that. It's human nature to make assumptions, talk about other people and make our own comments and some are worse than others. So, we just have to becareful who we tell things to, my husband says. Well, I suppose he's right but I'm disappointed that the world we live in makes it hard for people to be real.
Anyway, that's all I have to write about for now. I'm still coming to terms with this impossibility. How can we be real to one another if we cannot trust each other to be real, and, if we cannot trust people not to turn around and use our authenticity to boost their own ego or for their entertainment and benefit?
Men and women can be so cruel. And I am angry that we live in a world where being real is such a near impossible task because we are so cruel to one another, yet there's a deep longing in each and everyone of us to be accepted for who we really are.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
The First Law of Motion
I haven't forgotten everything about Physics. My mind often drifts back to the First Law of Motion when I keep thinking about how busy I get everyday. How each day just rolls into one another and the weeks and months just pass me by. How often when someone asks me "How are you?", I would invariably say, "Good, good... busy" because I either can't remember what I've done recently that was significant enough to talk about because I've just been going through the motion of it all without reflecting on what I've done and why I do them. This is where the connection is between my topic today and the first law of motion.
The First Law of Motion states that :
"Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it."
You know, I've learnt that busy-ness is a uniform state of life, like that in the first law of motion. And unless we do something to counter-act that (ie. apply an external force), it will remain in that state. Has the light bulb turned on yet? Ever since I learnt that I've looked at life in a different light. I didn't have to be propelled by the demands of others on me anymore if I stop and think about where I am, what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. I could prioritise rest & relax, holidays and time-off into my schedule and not feel guilty about it because I know it's a necessity, not a luxury. Unless I do that, busy-ness will always prevail and it will seep into every free time I have like air filling up any vacuum it can sniff out.
Recently I heard someone mentioned a survey that was done on a group of elderly people and the question was, "What would you have done differently if you had the chance to do it all over again?". The top three responses were: 1. Take more risks 2. xxxxx (can't remember!)3. Reflect. (Unfortunately he didn't give any references and I can't find the source of it now.)
So, take time off, put something off today that you can do tomorrow if it can wait - most things can wait if you're prepared to leave it! Ask yourself questions like, "What's the worst case scenario if this is not done today?". See the bigger picture - are you being ruled by urgencies in life that surmounts to nothing much in the bigger scheme of things. Have you been proscrastinating doing something because you've been too busy? If so, maybe it's time to do some reflection and apply some external force to change the direction of things. Maybe it's just doing nothing. Maybe it's lending a hand to someone that's been in your heart for a while. Perhaps maybe the picture below will inspire you for something else! Follow your heart!
The First Law of Motion states that :
"Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it."
You know, I've learnt that busy-ness is a uniform state of life, like that in the first law of motion. And unless we do something to counter-act that (ie. apply an external force), it will remain in that state. Has the light bulb turned on yet? Ever since I learnt that I've looked at life in a different light. I didn't have to be propelled by the demands of others on me anymore if I stop and think about where I am, what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. I could prioritise rest & relax, holidays and time-off into my schedule and not feel guilty about it because I know it's a necessity, not a luxury. Unless I do that, busy-ness will always prevail and it will seep into every free time I have like air filling up any vacuum it can sniff out.
Recently I heard someone mentioned a survey that was done on a group of elderly people and the question was, "What would you have done differently if you had the chance to do it all over again?". The top three responses were: 1. Take more risks 2. xxxxx (can't remember!)3. Reflect. (Unfortunately he didn't give any references and I can't find the source of it now.)
So, take time off, put something off today that you can do tomorrow if it can wait - most things can wait if you're prepared to leave it! Ask yourself questions like, "What's the worst case scenario if this is not done today?". See the bigger picture - are you being ruled by urgencies in life that surmounts to nothing much in the bigger scheme of things. Have you been proscrastinating doing something because you've been too busy? If so, maybe it's time to do some reflection and apply some external force to change the direction of things. Maybe it's just doing nothing. Maybe it's lending a hand to someone that's been in your heart for a while. Perhaps maybe the picture below will inspire you for something else! Follow your heart!
Acknowledgement
The first photo above is from: http://www.tribuneindia.com/2004/20040131/nc5.jpg
Good Value People
Ever met good value people in your lifetime? Everyone is precious in God's eyes, I know, so everyone is valuable, but not everyone influences your life as much as some do.
I went for a walk and swim (yes, that's the pool in the picture) today with my friend, MM. She amazes me. If I hadn't known MM, I'm not sure if I would do half the things I do up here, or had lasted as long as I had up here. She's one of those people that makes me feel that I can take on things that I'd think impossible - yes, she empowers me as an individual and as a parent. She listens and reflects so well - so well it puts me, a trained counsellor, to shame.
I went for a walk and swim (yes, that's the pool in the picture) today with my friend, MM. She amazes me. If I hadn't known MM, I'm not sure if I would do half the things I do up here, or had lasted as long as I had up here. She's one of those people that makes me feel that I can take on things that I'd think impossible - yes, she empowers me as an individual and as a parent. She listens and reflects so well - so well it puts me, a trained counsellor, to shame.MM is my answered prayer. She was there when I rang at the maternity ward here to find out the birthing facilities. MM went over and above her call of duty and filled me in on what to expect up here. She provided me with information about what I would need and not need and she assured me that I would be alright. There I was talking to a total stranger who could have been my angel but she was flesh and blood, and expecting her first baby around the same time I was. We both ended up having boys, 3 weeks apart.
Having left all my good friends behind in Sydney and Singapore, I now have to build new relationships. I often pray for at least one friend I could talk to at my level and about the kind of things I am interested in, someone whom I can hit it off with. MM does that and more. She challenges me to think beyond my comfort zone and inspires me to do things I'd never have been interested in.
Everyone needs a friend like MM who is walking the same path at one point or another of their journey in life. They are rare, like this red tailed (can't see the red in this pic) black cuckatoo we saw on our walk home from the pool, but thank God they are around.
So, this post is for all the MMs in my life that I've met over the years. You've influenced my life just by being yourself and without even trying hard.
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